A Person I Use to Know was so impulsive, selfish, and absorbed inside with self - that regards were never given to others. They were to an extent but the reality for this person was that they did alot by choice for their own benefit. Though, many others did benefit positively or in a healthier direction because of this person's individual motivation; it did indeed cause unhealthy events and impacts upon another's life. This person was me. Even in the best of intentions I have had in life, being so unhealthy equipped with nature and nurture and the cause and effect of traumatic circumstances - it only fueled the drive to be responsible to others.
I allowed their pain to become my pain. I allowed their goals to become my goals. I allowed their emotions to become my emotions. I allowed their nature and nurture to become my own. Their traumas were also my traumas. On this flip side, their happiness was my happiness. Their joys were mine. Their contentment was mine. I sought so hard in others what I really lacking in myself. By nature and nurture, I have sought to be happy, stable, and balanced in all the trials and triumphs I have ever experienced. But the one thing I was seeking and destroying at the same time for myself and in others - was peace, serenity, and a stillness or calmness that I never had. The unhealthiness of my own internal revictimization from ignorance and unhealthy internal self perceptions and interpretations of life was as damaging to myself as what any one could ever do to me.
It's like someone telling you that you a piece of crap and you believe them. So your choices in life become the driving force of believing you are crap so you chose unhealthy, substance abuse, poor hygiene, or become recluse because you feel like crap or think you look like crap because someone told you that you did - so you choose consciously as such. But the thing is - you do not have to believe anything that anyone tells you unless you feel it is healthy, beneficial and a factual truth about yourself.
People can be very mean, cruel and self-motivating and selfishly driven just as I was and many will say I am not these things but many will say I am too. At the end of our last breath upon Earth - no one will know or feel what it is like to be you; but you. If you do not know who you are completely inside and out by defining your expertise and your deficiencies and able to get over yourself or the words or actions of others - you allow and enable the unhealthiness to continue in yourself.
Just as I did. I could hear people say this or that of actions and emotions of their life about peace, happiness, serenity, and joys but without learning skills for myself and believing that I could obtain it - nothing mattered.
In learning, I am going back into history of books that document the struggles of emotional aspects of humans as well as the understanding of this intellectual perspective of behaviors. The philosophies of emotions and understanding others does help me to better understand my own admitted flaws of history as well. What objectives I hope to obtain and what healthiness I can gain and apply as new in my life. One can never erase their past and the choices made from this past. As a general rule, people will only remember two things about you anyways - how you made them feel and the mistakes you made of things you did for them or did not do for them. That's pretty much it.
These quotes pretty much sum up where I have been and the destination of where I hope to arrive. But continually focusing only the here and now of today. For yesterday's values had their place of lessons even in the mistakes made that I will never be able to seek a healthy resurrection from. But I will have a wiser, more stable and more balanced life and gifts to share with others when I arrive at my final breath. A healthy food for thought can go along way daily in supplementing one's time - energy - resources and to participate with others.
" Reading furnishes the mind only with materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read ours. No man's knowledge here can go beyond his experience. There cannot be greater rudeness than to interrupt another in the current of his discourse. New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common." - John Locke
I am reading a book that helps to grow my understanding and acceptance of self. I find it amazing how history tells a repeated story in many ways of civilizations that change but yet stay so unhealthy or healthy the same. How new is still viewed as a threat or intimidation upon that of familiar social acceptances. How people do really change but internally of core - stay the same. Only time and documentation of history will reveal if our focus of these entities are a good thing or bad thing. But here is the summary of this book if others, as me, would like to take a poetic literacy journal as I. The journey is truly one like I have never sought to do before. Only time, will prove and give factual effectiveness of what I am doing. But my believes are strong. My motives have never been healthier. For this, I am appreciative to know that even I, can still learn and apply new healthier aspects of my own life and that I am worth it just as anyone else is.
First appearing in 1689 (although dated 1690) with the printed title An Essay Concerning Humane Understanding, An Essay Concerning Human Understanding by John Locke concerns the foundation of human knowledge and understanding.
Ironic - how this one will tell you how to live your life, this way or that way, but yet - no one gives regards that you will do what you know. You will accept what you are doing. That you do deserve respect for what you choose, as we all do. That you will solo answer for those lessons of your own malice actions with consequences you do based upon your choices that you have to make. Just as we all will. - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_Essay_Concerning_Human_Understanding
Life should be a respectful To Each Their Own. But rarely ever is it. For what ever we do or say to one another will impact someone in a healthy or unhealthy way. For whatever their motives, factual and healthy, or lies and unhealthy - consequences will be reaped by both. To say that we can understand is not as easy as it sounds not as validating as it could be. Simplicity is something that most adults tend to lose through the circumstances and choices of our lives. Perhaps, it is the simplicity where peace, serenity, and happiness wait patiently in hiding until we realize that these assets could be ours too when we give validity to our own wants, needs, desires and serve personal mission of healthiness to self first before we can begin to give these entities to others. Who knows. But I respect to each their own. Whether I am a part of their life or the sharing they do or assisting in the mission of their goals or simply supporting them through another struggling obstacle. It will all be OK either way.
For your destiny will change and your objectives, just as mine will. We do not have to be friends or family with every one. But to ever hope to gain an equal, civilized and moral lawful society - one must believe that these entities can exist in their self first.
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