In a few hours and already occurring in parts of the world - depending on the time - Happy New Year celebrations will ring out of a united humane hope of 2014's new birth upon each of us. Another year to say good bye permanently too and a new beginning occurs.
For New Years means individual defining. Personal goal setting. Personal hopes to achieve. Personal and individual wishes that are shared or silently held in.
Hoping that better, happier, healthier and fulfilling lives will occur in 2014 that 2013 did not fulfill to happen. Millions will come together to celebrate a welcome of a New Year or to weep the passing of 2013 or honestly - do both.
Holidays, celebrations and even in the birth of a New Year - we each are our own emotional creators and emotional human beings above anything else that we are.
But thanks to 2014 - we each have a clean slate to draw and emotional quests to fill. Now is every person's time to make it happen! We each are filled with no regrets and only hopeful wishes. Dreams will hold us hand-in-hand and arm-in-arm as the New Year strikes midnight to announce 2014 is finally here!
I enjoyed my break from blogging and did miss it. But the fun hobbies of quilting, sewing, and giving my creations to materialization have allowed me a wonderful holiday season and participating and spending time with the family was nice too.
But time to get back at it now. For my fingers do enjoy releasing my thoughts, discoveries, and sharing the journey of my life with others. Not that I am any expert or professional of any craft but the diversity I have gained through my experiences can help others - so I share. Years past of my life still remind me how my efforts to share will keep paying life forward for others out there.
Someone I Used to Know was secretive, seclusive, and though entertaining and sharing with others was always this person's objective when socializing with family, friends and even strangers - inside - this person was about as mixed up, confused, emotionally living on an internal overload, and internal stresses of a hard knock life that left this person alone, many times, even in a crowd of smiling and laughing faces.
For creativity, individuality, and being one's own person was the hardest accepting factor this person had to overcome. And she did. And she is still learning how. To let go of all the bad, unhealthy, and complicated issues of health, family, friends, and let the past go to enjoy each and every new day.
For the new skills she is learning is helping her to undo all the internal unhealthiness she was taught, subjected too, hostage in, and contributed to of herself with a very dysfunctional, unhealthy, abusive family and moving on past all those experiences to gain a new healthier for herself from learning how and admitting to her self that though, she was not bad or a criminal person - she still had lots to learn. That person was me.
For decades, every New Year was my time to get it right. In this individual and personal mission to literally and actively make myself better than the person I use to be from a year ago - with each passing year - I am finally maturing and appreciating all that make who I am and changing what I can of those things that I thought and felt was once unobtainable for me.
For decades, medical complications were the primary focus of survival I had to acknowledge with my troubling symptoms, seeking medical professionals to cope or control these symptoms and then some how wrestle these symptoms around my daily life.
It was difficult for so many years. For I always felt like for every ounce of discovery I would make - there would be another medical obstacle of diagnosis that would reveal itself making it that much harder to make some kind of tolerable sense out of to manage my active life.
For years, it was like I would introduce myself in name and then start the detailing of the seizure disorders I had. A hard factual teaching of my life to others for my prevention and their actions to do in case I had an unconscious convulsion seizure. But many I shared with had already became biased, bigots or just plain ignorant about the medical facts and medical prevention of seizures. The discomfort of my topics about seizures and medical prevention was my normal and did not bother me to speak about it but it did wear heavily in empathy, sympathy or ignorant irritation to many faces I shared this with.
As the years unraveled my medical diagnosis were compiled as: Epilepsy, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Non epileptic Seizure Disorder, Bipolar, Trichiasis, and as a medical icing about my feet unhealthiness were bone bunions and bone spurs in both feet along with the top of my feet that suffered from nerve damage from years of excessive walking in improper shoes, heels and going barefoot. I will miss going barefoot more than all of the above!
Feet surgery, more frequent eye exams and even possible lash plucking, a roulette of prescription medications, hours of talk therapy, hours of alternative therapy, and more extensive brain testing to find out the origin of where my seizures come from not including prevention to all of the above what I already had but the preventative maintenance to these piles of medical disorders that I never asked for or choose - was at times - more than I wanted to contend with.
For it was not just education about seizures anymore I would have to share but a medical dictionary - it seemed at times - especially when employed. But I have found out through my medical experiences that there are as many supporters, others who endured what I had and found a whole new family based only upon the medical diagnosis and experiences of surviving and living that we all done and did with our medical conditions.
When we get over the fear of other's feedback, input and their rejections or acceptance - we find acceptance in our self. I have yet to ever regret or find more negative people than positive people especially when sharing medical conditions.
Medical health is a fact of life that touches each of us differently as a contributor or deprave of our daily lives and when we all learn to mature up about these things as acceptable topics of conversations - then we each can learn a little more about each other and our self too. Humanity can be found and maybe even restored at a more civil level when we first get over our self and our experience of feedback to actually listen to another first.
I knew the medical and scientific mechanics of my body issues through years of research and could accept those to cope. But the internal of my Fight or Flight Response system, the unhealthiness of my 5 senses, Central Nervous System and Autonomic Systems in my brain and body were extremely stressed, tired, exhausted with medical symptoms and emotional instabilities.
So what can a person do when your medical resume increases beyond anything you ever done constructively or in a professional resume of productivity while employed? You change. You learn how to change. You never give up in a hope that one day, you will find the tools or the new healthier skills that you need to help yourself - as only you can. You validate who you are and affirm to accept what the symptoms and medical conditions reveal about you and then you get active to help your self - not only to live a healthier life but a more satisfying state of medical health too.
For Dialectal Behavior Therapy with emotional intelligence and emotional understanding from a novice perspective was the best gift I could have ever choose to embark upon and learn for myself.
To admit that I was taught so many unhealthy ways that had became my own through the years was the hardest admittance of facts of medical, experiences, and circumstances that I would endure to do. But it was what I needed. I worried more about others and helping others than I did for the internal of me. For years, I was able to assist productively but when I wore down and thin by my own thoughts and unhealthy emotional dialogues that were within - I became paralyzed externally in tears, verbal ramblings, and a pile of insanity for others to witness who could not begin to understand the long journey I had made through life just to share time and conversation or emotions with them at that point.
For a child is to be birthed into this world where every one that a child comes in contact with becomes their teacher, educator, mentor, lawyer, medical professional, judge, lawyer, defender, offender, protector, safe keeper, and motivator of encouragement or an unhealthiness of detriment to a child's life.
Very few realize the impact that one's presence can make in a life of a child and others. A person should never take it lightly in lacking skills to manifest healthy productions in another or as a contributor to the unhealthiness multiplications that exist that we each are responsible for in doing to self and to others.
After all - we are all factual imperfect human beings prone to errors, mistakes, and imperfections that will not only hurt our own lives by the individual choices, actions and words we use - but when a child is around to see, witness, learn as gain or becomes deprived of - they become the unhealthy imperfections we teach them or the healthier perfections we illustrate to them in our own actions.
Oh! The wounded adults in our current day society that exist due to those chilling years of learning, hating, anger, bitterness, deprivations or happiness that began long ago and still entrap some of us today - even if in only in medical symptoms and diagnosis.
I am learning how to break the unhealthy symptoms of my own medical diagnosis from my experiences to unravel the medical devastation of ignorance, bigotry, biased, unprotected and criminal crimes done to me that left me with medical repercussions. But only each can find in their self to undo their own damage.
Only each individual can seek the unhealthiness of their own medical conditions of symptoms. Help is always out there waiting to be found for each - when each first admit their problems to self and seek with resilient and persistence to never give up in admitting, accepting, and believing in your self of who you want to be and make it happen.
This New Year we all get a new lease on life. Another year of blank pages waiting for us to write in potentially the best year we have yet waiting to be experienced for us.
In this New Year, I urge you to evaluate the Person You Used to Be too. To admit, accept and be honest with yourself. Admit what you like. Accept what you do not like. Then seek the individual change within yourself to make it happen. Find tools, skills and healthier learning to help you.
It has taken me almost 3 and a half decades of my life to find the peace internally with these new skills I needed to help myself to silence my symptoms for good.
Does that mean that I will be as a perfect healthy person - No. For anyone to believe that good health will always be your perfect friend or will occur in your life is a fool. To disregard that medical complications will never come in your life or that another person's diagnosis will not become your own is to believe as ignorant would.
But to admit and accept that of which makes sense to you and work to change it or accept and cope in a healthy manner of what you must face is all any of us can do and wish for.
For life is never guaranteed and there is no perfect attempts only endless efforts to keep trying.
Try to attempt and complete a daily resolution in 2014 for each day. Every day with hopes to accomplish. Every day of dreams to learn and advance to fulfill what you want.
Inside each of us is a Peter Principle. Never deny that a Peter Principle exists in each of us. To disregard that we each are a Peter Principle is to take away the humanity you owe to your self to find and learn to grow in new skills and deprives those closest to you that will remove all doubt of how ignorant your ways, closed circuit your thoughts or unhealthy your emotions are, and the unhealthiness of your actions, words, or choices to produce more pain in you and in others closest to you than it already has. It maybe too late to undo whatever bad or unhealthy that has occurred but it's never too late to begin to change and begin healthy anew.
For as the New Year gives us all a new year - it introduces a new birth of self again! So one can take ever day and make it brand new to use as you choose!
Best wishes to all for a Happy New Year in health, wealth, contentment, happiness, and completion that you deserve to know internally and to share and explore to grow externally! May humanity to each individual be restored by learning how too and may our society that we share witness the efforts of personal individuality productions too!
“If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.” - Unknown
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain
“The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.” - C.K. Chesterton
“Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever.” — Walt Disney
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Monday, December 23, 2013
The Controversy of Christmas Greetings
Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! Season's Greeting! Happy Ho Ho! Merry Grinchmas!
Whatever you want to call Christmas - the fact is that controversy exists due to personal interpretations or individual perceptions.
For the reality is that these meaningful greetings do verbally or visually represent the diverse definition differences that we each use and what that meaning represents to each of us differently.
With any greetings - there are none - who are right or factual. There is also none that are wrong - no matter who says what. For each greeting is made up of personal beliefs of what the holidays mean personally to them. Their imperfect beliefs they share of their individual cheer with another. Sounds kindly Bah Humbug! I know. But if you will continue to read then perhaps - enlightened is what you become into a deeper emotional understanding.
I will never understand those who complicate the issues of Holiday Greetings - as if it is a personal competition with the world to announce their right to be right - in what they believe.
Gracious, if we all acted like that or got disgruntled or mad about the differences of other's live - would we not all become mad, insane with individual conflicts, angry, bitter, frustrated, and conflicted in emotions because some one else seeks to believe different than we? All would stand their arguing in debate because one does not believe in the phrase of greetings spoken or are visually displayed. How immature is that?
This should be the meaning or message of any holiday greeting.
If this is your vocal or visual meaning or message to cause and produce controversy when you announce what you believe in season messages that are really camouflaged with false pretense to prove your personal beliefs - then please keep your ill-motivated and unhealthy focus of greetings to your self.
There are many millions of us who can appreciate and respect the diversity of others who believe different than us. There are millions more who do value to learn of other cultures different than our own and give appreciation to the values of other's beliefs as much as we do our own.
The one thing we should never lose in this holiday season or any exchanges of well wishes - regardless of how those wishes are spoken - are the important aspects that our beliefs give us to be happy and produce happiness.
We should never lose focus on the real meanings of individual best wishes, hopeful tidings, and the Merry Cheer that can only come from this time of year.
Children are the Reason for the Season and any holiday for me personally. For their sparkling eyes of hopefulness, faith, happy, laughing & smiling cheerfulness is something we all could use extra doses of and try to obtain and achieve for our self this holiday seasons.
The appreciation that children have for Christmas is as no other class of human beings upon Earth. For they know no strangers nor disallow any one as a potential friend. For all smiling faces are as an invite for them to welcome conversations, share laughter, and appreciate the productions of smiles they can.
My nieces, bless their heart, are not financially wealthy and do have a quite complicated life.
But for my birthday this year, they gifted me their own stuffed toys that they owned and wrote me hand written decorated cards that expressed emotionally what they could not verbally tell me.
They think it is funny to make an adult cry in emotional sweet happy tears of sentimental and emotional gifts as this. For Christmas gifts - they have did the same thing. They told me after giving my little knick knacks that they were hoping I'd let them open their gifts early too. As children will try to do too.
I did not let them open their Christmas gift and will make them wait until Christmas. But their efforts to produce emotional humanity are quite commendable that we adults should never lose and to obtain and shed in good cheer too.
These little girls including my own daughter - remind me year after year, holiday after holiday; why we should never be afraid to explore our emotions, share our emotions and learn how to change and perhaps, even refocus our own views, perceptions and beliefs sometimes.
For the generation of children today is not the same generation that we grew up in.
Many will pull their knowledge to live life and make choices in parenting from their personal past. But while we use this old information from our own old databases within - we lose the ability to see the factual changes of life that are occurring before us now.
We miss the opportunities of value to help our children and our youth to find and learn who they want to be in their individuality with the new tools, skills, necessities and luxuries they have now in this world that was not available to us in our prior years.
The only way that we can learn to communicate is to speak their current day language and to understand the complexities, complications and stresses our children and youth have as well. By doing this - we allow our self to grow together with them and not apart from them too.
A Person I Used to Know loved Christmas as their favorite holiday of the year. For this was the time of year that a poverty house looked like a home with all the glittering and bright lights of Christmas decorations. A house that was loved and felt like a home only through the holidays.
The time of year where the mother would get dressed up and visually appear to be happy and engaged into her family. The time of year where children would not just be told to go sit down and shut up but the adults would engage.
Listen. Speak. Effective emotional conversations. Talk with and not talk down to or half listen to the children that spoke. But the children ruled the day of this holiday.
This Person I Used to Know was me. Even when being poor and with the good heart of strangers to assist the local toy drives and Salvation Army that supplied our many Christmas gifts growing up - it was the time of year - that the world felt safe, appeared as beautiful as the Earth could get and all appeared happy and accepting of one another.
May we all never forget the real value behind the holidays upon material gifts. May we all never forget to engage our little ones and our youth to let them know that Christmas is their time of year to shine, be engaged, be welcomed and be as equals to all of us.
After all - children and our youth are our future. Children and our youth will become the traditions of tomorrow.
If we spend so much time focusing on the visuals of Christmas messages with Christmas traditions or cultures different than ours that cause and produce discomfort or confrontations - what are we teaching our children?
That our beliefs matter more and others do not? Is that what you want a holiday to mean to your children or youth? Do you want your young ones to feel accepted to which they belong or are an outcast because of the methods of teaching you give them and they witness from you in your actions?
The Black Friday Shopping in America is a family tradition and has almost became a competitive retail sport. I am not a Black Friday Shopper and do not believe in this disgruntled, selfish and bullying behaviors of those who participate. But I do understand the importance for some to seek a good bargain price to gain material possessions.
But be careful. For even in the Black Friday Shopping social retail traditions - remember what your children or young ones and loved ones are witnessing from you? Is this the bully behavior you want to demonstrate? Is this the holiday value you want your youth or children to know in their Christmas memories? What do you want to deposit to your children, youth and loved ones when a holiday passes? Answer these and their will be your guide.
Many questions for readers to ponder this holiday season. Whatever you choose to speak or do this holiday season make sure your emotional deposits into others will be individually valued more than a decreasing value of material possessions that you gift this holiday.
I wish for all the readers who read this to have a very Wonderful, Merry and emotionally fulfilled Christmas. A personal gift to be given and received that no material could decrease individually from.
Merry Christmas and enjoy. I will be taking a few days break to finish up my Christmas creations to give and spending time with my young ones who need and want me as - much as I need and want them as well. Merry Christmas!
Whatever you want to call Christmas - the fact is that controversy exists due to personal interpretations or individual perceptions.
For the reality is that these meaningful greetings do verbally or visually represent the diverse definition differences that we each use and what that meaning represents to each of us differently.
With any greetings - there are none - who are right or factual. There is also none that are wrong - no matter who says what. For each greeting is made up of personal beliefs of what the holidays mean personally to them. Their imperfect beliefs they share of their individual cheer with another. Sounds kindly Bah Humbug! I know. But if you will continue to read then perhaps - enlightened is what you become into a deeper emotional understanding.
I will never understand those who complicate the issues of Holiday Greetings - as if it is a personal competition with the world to announce their right to be right - in what they believe.
Gracious, if we all acted like that or got disgruntled or mad about the differences of other's live - would we not all become mad, insane with individual conflicts, angry, bitter, frustrated, and conflicted in emotions because some one else seeks to believe different than we? All would stand their arguing in debate because one does not believe in the phrase of greetings spoken or are visually displayed. How immature is that?
This should be the meaning or message of any holiday greeting.
If this is your vocal or visual meaning or message to cause and produce controversy when you announce what you believe in season messages that are really camouflaged with false pretense to prove your personal beliefs - then please keep your ill-motivated and unhealthy focus of greetings to your self.
There are many millions of us who can appreciate and respect the diversity of others who believe different than us. There are millions more who do value to learn of other cultures different than our own and give appreciation to the values of other's beliefs as much as we do our own.
The one thing we should never lose in this holiday season or any exchanges of well wishes - regardless of how those wishes are spoken - are the important aspects that our beliefs give us to be happy and produce happiness.
We should never lose focus on the real meanings of individual best wishes, hopeful tidings, and the Merry Cheer that can only come from this time of year.
Children are the Reason for the Season and any holiday for me personally. For their sparkling eyes of hopefulness, faith, happy, laughing & smiling cheerfulness is something we all could use extra doses of and try to obtain and achieve for our self this holiday seasons.
The appreciation that children have for Christmas is as no other class of human beings upon Earth. For they know no strangers nor disallow any one as a potential friend. For all smiling faces are as an invite for them to welcome conversations, share laughter, and appreciate the productions of smiles they can.
My nieces, bless their heart, are not financially wealthy and do have a quite complicated life.
But for my birthday this year, they gifted me their own stuffed toys that they owned and wrote me hand written decorated cards that expressed emotionally what they could not verbally tell me.
They think it is funny to make an adult cry in emotional sweet happy tears of sentimental and emotional gifts as this. For Christmas gifts - they have did the same thing. They told me after giving my little knick knacks that they were hoping I'd let them open their gifts early too. As children will try to do too.
I did not let them open their Christmas gift and will make them wait until Christmas. But their efforts to produce emotional humanity are quite commendable that we adults should never lose and to obtain and shed in good cheer too.
These little girls including my own daughter - remind me year after year, holiday after holiday; why we should never be afraid to explore our emotions, share our emotions and learn how to change and perhaps, even refocus our own views, perceptions and beliefs sometimes.
For the generation of children today is not the same generation that we grew up in.
Many will pull their knowledge to live life and make choices in parenting from their personal past. But while we use this old information from our own old databases within - we lose the ability to see the factual changes of life that are occurring before us now.
We miss the opportunities of value to help our children and our youth to find and learn who they want to be in their individuality with the new tools, skills, necessities and luxuries they have now in this world that was not available to us in our prior years.
The only way that we can learn to communicate is to speak their current day language and to understand the complexities, complications and stresses our children and youth have as well. By doing this - we allow our self to grow together with them and not apart from them too.
A Person I Used to Know loved Christmas as their favorite holiday of the year. For this was the time of year that a poverty house looked like a home with all the glittering and bright lights of Christmas decorations. A house that was loved and felt like a home only through the holidays.
The time of year where the mother would get dressed up and visually appear to be happy and engaged into her family. The time of year where children would not just be told to go sit down and shut up but the adults would engage.
Listen. Speak. Effective emotional conversations. Talk with and not talk down to or half listen to the children that spoke. But the children ruled the day of this holiday.
This Person I Used to Know was me. Even when being poor and with the good heart of strangers to assist the local toy drives and Salvation Army that supplied our many Christmas gifts growing up - it was the time of year - that the world felt safe, appeared as beautiful as the Earth could get and all appeared happy and accepting of one another.
May we all never forget the real value behind the holidays upon material gifts. May we all never forget to engage our little ones and our youth to let them know that Christmas is their time of year to shine, be engaged, be welcomed and be as equals to all of us.
After all - children and our youth are our future. Children and our youth will become the traditions of tomorrow.
If we spend so much time focusing on the visuals of Christmas messages with Christmas traditions or cultures different than ours that cause and produce discomfort or confrontations - what are we teaching our children?
That our beliefs matter more and others do not? Is that what you want a holiday to mean to your children or youth? Do you want your young ones to feel accepted to which they belong or are an outcast because of the methods of teaching you give them and they witness from you in your actions?
The Black Friday Shopping in America is a family tradition and has almost became a competitive retail sport. I am not a Black Friday Shopper and do not believe in this disgruntled, selfish and bullying behaviors of those who participate. But I do understand the importance for some to seek a good bargain price to gain material possessions.
But be careful. For even in the Black Friday Shopping social retail traditions - remember what your children or young ones and loved ones are witnessing from you? Is this the bully behavior you want to demonstrate? Is this the holiday value you want your youth or children to know in their Christmas memories? What do you want to deposit to your children, youth and loved ones when a holiday passes? Answer these and their will be your guide.
Many questions for readers to ponder this holiday season. Whatever you choose to speak or do this holiday season make sure your emotional deposits into others will be individually valued more than a decreasing value of material possessions that you gift this holiday.
I wish for all the readers who read this to have a very Wonderful, Merry and emotionally fulfilled Christmas. A personal gift to be given and received that no material could decrease individually from.
Merry Christmas and enjoy. I will be taking a few days break to finish up my Christmas creations to give and spending time with my young ones who need and want me as - much as I need and want them as well. Merry Christmas!
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Can Happiness be Taught?
Thought provoking title question, isn't it? I thought so. A Person I Used to Know would skeptically deny that such a concept of teaching happiness could be obtained and acquired.
But now, after seeking and learning the knowledge of happiness that I personally required to help myself - I am a believer of YES!
Personal and individual happiness can be taught, obtained and this is something that no medical evidence or no medical condition can deny or take from a person. Truth be known - there is no way to medically or scientifically prove fact or denial of either.
So what does a person have to lose but happiness in trying to learn how to be happy? The Person I Used to Know - in my former self - would have dismissed, debated and even argued with anyone who would mention a notion as this. But it was personal defense that would have argued. For if I accepted a theory as this then that would mean that I would have to sit with a mirror and examine myself. Not of circumstances or events I endured. Not of what my life is now or anything that happened to me. But admit to the core of myself my own deficiencies and how I was a source of my pain of unhappiness simply because I did not know any better and had not found the right tools, skills and apply in my life to help me and not hurt me anymore.
For science and medicine has taught us that the brain is still the largest mystery organ in the human body. But yet, we as humans, become their profits; their researches; their job securities of medical and pharmaceutical profits with hopes to conquer the mission of defining, dissecting, and determining all origins of what makes a brain work and what does not work in physical, mental, emotional, logical, rational, medical, and mental aspects.
So I dare you to question and answer for your self - do you really want to give all credit of your healing, recovery, or overcoming a medical condition to the sole responsibility of a professional? Would you prefer to be a team player to your cure, the healing of your ailments, and to learn how to ease your own conflicts of emotional chaos that life and medical conditions can toss in a person's life at any unannounced time? Would you rather be a contributor to the effectiveness of your treatments, medications and therapies your self to increase your health, your emotional well-being, and your doctor's ability to help you too?
Many times I have seen and witnessed and heard so many stories of unhappiness in another's life. It's sad. It is tragic. It is deplorable of human nature and nurture at the unhappiness that can go on in person's life based upon circumstances and deficiencies to simply not know any better nor have individual desire to seek learning or healthier changes to help one's self. Ignorance can appear to make for a blissful life but when each individual in the Human Race is in the silence of their own minds, thoughts, and emotions - is that ignorance really blissful?
Are you happy? Do you know how to fulfill your time in a healthy, fun, and enlightening manner or do you simply suffer in silent misery? Do your emotions contribute or withdraw from your ability to be happy? Do you have hobbies that you enjoy? Do you do so much for others that you do not know what happy is to you when you are by yourself and have no one around? Does the silence of your mind consistently focus on an old reel of an old time long gone but still inflicts pains of unhappiness upon you now?
The good thing about doing a blog is that I can ask questions to readers to let them answer for them self. For these are even questions I have asked and answered for myself too.
My team effort of this venture is to give advice that has effectively helped me and continues too. But also to produce individuals to think for their self and respond honestly with their self too.
Give consideration to the unhealthy and healthy aspects of one's own life. To enlighten with hope to produce a positive or healthier change for others by the experiences I have survived and the knowledge I have obtained and am still currently obtaining to produce more positive and healthier thoughts, emotions, and activities in my personal life as well. So it's not as if I am teaching but rather participating in the process of what I write too.
In reading all I have shared from the www.freedictionary.com of the word of unhappiness - what causes a person to be unhappy and sad - it is easy not to read some of these and realize; this used to be me or to get lost in focus of those faces of ones I knew and care for that have endured or survived these things below.
Equality exists in each of us on an emotional level. Even if we all are in different appearance - it gets easy to be deceived or distracted by the appreciable and lustful qualities of another. But at the core of each - is a feeling human being before anything else. They too are just an emotional being as well.
Individuals who cry. Individuals who smile. Individuals who laugh. Individuals who hurt. Individuals who fear. Individuals who question life in the silence of their thoughts. Individuals who feel deeply to belong. Individuals who feel intense emotion to be accepted for who they are. Individuals twho want to be happy and not unhappy.
That's the factual core of the invisible that exists in each of us. Even if the shedding of external unhealthy layers could exist for humans - as it does in the nature of healthiness of a snake - it would not matter.
People would still be mean, vindictive, cruel, unaccepted, and disregarding to others. People who can not see the emotional beauty expressed upon a person's face of happiness or sadness would surely over look and still not focus on a person's emotional face to realize what and who they are. Even if humans were visual snakes with the ability to shed our unhealthy emotional skins - we in our primitive defend or offend nature - would still miss the potentials for our Human Race in our survival or living choices we make. We would still fail at seeing in others or our own self that we are just emotional creatures of equality.
Perhaps, if we could spend more time learning about the hard core stuff of our self and gaining healthier views within our self - we could learn the compassion and respect of self inside. To have compassion and respect for self takes motivation, knowledge, courage, bravery, honor, individuality and a resilient persistence that only you could give or teach your self to have. Would it not be worth it to experience peacefulness, happiness, and healthier contentment when alone? So perhaps, when you are with others - you could see the world and faces in this world as a new existence.
Unhappiness is usually caused and produced by a problem waiting to be solved and seeking for the answers to solve that problem. To ease the symptoms of medical complications that unhappiness produces in a person - it has been taught - that it will usually take prescription medicine to achieve this due to our cultural pharmaceutical addictive social morality we live in. But what if it truly does not have to be this way?
Use caution. For even in the most advanced state of science and medicine - it is still theories and speculations that do produce symptom control or symptom side effects in medications. The professionals speculate or assume that neurotransmitters are over firing or under firing in the brain chemistry that causes productions to affect a person. But if you asked them to show you in a brain scan, MRI, MEG or PET scan exactly where your brain chemistry is deficient or to give you a blood test to show you factually - 9 out of 10 times - they could not - for even medicine and science are not always factual either.
For decades, the evolution of medical and scientific research has been based upon theories and Peter Principles of practice. Look at the evidence in America.
What about the economy? What about the financial matters of America that impact all our of survival and living? How many Americans are truly healthy, happy and content? How many Americans are factually unhealthy, unhappy and live miserably in discontent? How many could say they really live a financially healthy life as they do a personal healthy life? How many can factually say that they believe and trust others before they pursue and seek self intuitions first to obtain a healthier and more positive life?
I do not know honestly too many that could say that Yes - they have a healthy fulfilling and unconditionally loving home. Yes - they make wise, healthy and financial choices in their life of luxuries and necessities. Yes - they feel as great externally in appearance as they do internally in their health and silence of self.
Human beings were not designed to be perfect. Nor will we ever be capable in our knowledge, techniques, skills and tools that we will be able to 100% affirm in facts to answer all the mysteries that makes a human being an individual person.
Genetics, medical genetics, heritage, history, nature, nurture, knowledge, survival, and living through experiences, circumstances, and events will continue to make each of us unique to who and what we are - internally and externally.
But what we do to help our self within and externally - is for each of us to decide, choose and act upon accordingly. Life comes down to a viewing of healthy or unhealthy for self. If you do not define your own healthy and unhealthiness - how can anyone else help you choose the course of treatment to help you when you can not even admit what you do to your self too!
We can not snap our fingers to make another's unhappiness go away. There are no magic pills to stop the pain of unhappiness. For whatever substances are used to ease the pain - when it wears off or dejects from the body - the pain and unhappiness will still be there. The substance abuses or prescription medications levels will continue to increase or decrease based upon theories that they work but in reality - dependency is the only solution to these problems that we socially accept. What if it really does not have to be this way?
How many vicious cycles does a person have to endure and years get wasted and money get spent- before a person simply gets too tired to thrive anymore or even care about self much less asking them to care for others who share the same globe as they do? How much chaos will a person do to their Fight or Flight Response system to cope in life before the system crashes from occurrences in their lives or by the raw choices they make to mend or cope in unhealthy ways?
Examine. Evaluate. Be honest and real with your self. Create what you want of your unhealthiness to change it. Learn how to obtain the healthy that you want to keep. Learn how to change your unhappiness within. Explore growing your happiness externally only after you admit your own unhealthy within and seek to change this first. For what unhealthy ripples inside you will be evident in all those around you too.
There are many self-help tools on the Internet that a person can cater their own learning with of healthier tools and skills to apply to one's life and one's own health. Your answers are out there but you must seek to find them. I can only share so much of my journey with others for mine has been catered to me, by me. You must admit your problems and seek the solutions to mend, heal, and help your self to obtain the happiness you seek.
No one can spend your time for you. No one can tell you how to spend your life. Only you can help your self. For no matter how many good intentioned and true people that a person has in their life - it is still those moments or hours of silence that define each of us - in our healthy happiness or unhealthiness of unhappiness. Only you can learn and change your life to make it what you want in the silence of your thoughts, emotions, and sense of self.
un·hap·py
1. Not happy or joyful; sad or sorrowful: unhappy over his friend's departure.
2. Not satisfied; displeased or discontented: unhappy with her raise.
3. Not attended by or bringing good fortune; unlucky.
4. Not suitable; inappropriate: an unhappy choice of words.
the experiencing of affective and emotional states
sadness caused by grief or affliction
persisting sadness
a feeling of thoughtful sadness
a feeling of intense unhappiness
sadness resulting from being forsaken or abandoned
sadness expressed by weeping
an emotion of great sadness associated with loss or bereavement
sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment
a feeling of dreary or pessimistic sadness
sad feelings of gloom and inadequacy
the state of a person's emotions
the state of being embittered; "the embitterment that resulted from the loss of his job never left him"
the state of being sad
"He felt the loyalty we all feel to unhappiness - the sense that that is where we really belong" [Graham Greene The Heart of the Matter] -
Every one can make the conscience and silent intuition to be happy. In all honesty - for some - it will take knowledge, healthier skills and learning to achieve this. But happiness or unhappiness is the partnership you are willing to make for you and what you do to apply to your life. No one has to settle for unhappiness - unless they choose too.
"Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations" [Edward de Bono]
You are not perfect. You do have imperfections. Ease upon your self too. Set realistic talents. Set realistic and factual expectations of your self too. The stresses of unhealthiness we bring upon our own self is in the silence of each individuals mind.
But knowing that you are imperfect as every one else and that you can only do so much of your own expectations and what other's expect of you - can go along way in achieving a healthier, happier life versus the constant tail chasing of an unhealthy and unhappy life produced by internal cycles that seem to never end.
No one should choose to live that. No one. We each are worth a new internal birth when we admit, accept, and realize in self - that we are imperfect and are not as smart as we display socially. Because in the silence of our self is where the truth and facts are of each of us and what or who we really are. This is something that we equally share and a source of our individuality that only we can find and grow as we choose.
But now, after seeking and learning the knowledge of happiness that I personally required to help myself - I am a believer of YES!
Personal and individual happiness can be taught, obtained and this is something that no medical evidence or no medical condition can deny or take from a person. Truth be known - there is no way to medically or scientifically prove fact or denial of either.
So what does a person have to lose but happiness in trying to learn how to be happy? The Person I Used to Know - in my former self - would have dismissed, debated and even argued with anyone who would mention a notion as this. But it was personal defense that would have argued. For if I accepted a theory as this then that would mean that I would have to sit with a mirror and examine myself. Not of circumstances or events I endured. Not of what my life is now or anything that happened to me. But admit to the core of myself my own deficiencies and how I was a source of my pain of unhappiness simply because I did not know any better and had not found the right tools, skills and apply in my life to help me and not hurt me anymore.
For science and medicine has taught us that the brain is still the largest mystery organ in the human body. But yet, we as humans, become their profits; their researches; their job securities of medical and pharmaceutical profits with hopes to conquer the mission of defining, dissecting, and determining all origins of what makes a brain work and what does not work in physical, mental, emotional, logical, rational, medical, and mental aspects.
So I dare you to question and answer for your self - do you really want to give all credit of your healing, recovery, or overcoming a medical condition to the sole responsibility of a professional? Would you prefer to be a team player to your cure, the healing of your ailments, and to learn how to ease your own conflicts of emotional chaos that life and medical conditions can toss in a person's life at any unannounced time? Would you rather be a contributor to the effectiveness of your treatments, medications and therapies your self to increase your health, your emotional well-being, and your doctor's ability to help you too?
Many times I have seen and witnessed and heard so many stories of unhappiness in another's life. It's sad. It is tragic. It is deplorable of human nature and nurture at the unhappiness that can go on in person's life based upon circumstances and deficiencies to simply not know any better nor have individual desire to seek learning or healthier changes to help one's self. Ignorance can appear to make for a blissful life but when each individual in the Human Race is in the silence of their own minds, thoughts, and emotions - is that ignorance really blissful?
Are you happy? Do you know how to fulfill your time in a healthy, fun, and enlightening manner or do you simply suffer in silent misery? Do your emotions contribute or withdraw from your ability to be happy? Do you have hobbies that you enjoy? Do you do so much for others that you do not know what happy is to you when you are by yourself and have no one around? Does the silence of your mind consistently focus on an old reel of an old time long gone but still inflicts pains of unhappiness upon you now?
The good thing about doing a blog is that I can ask questions to readers to let them answer for them self. For these are even questions I have asked and answered for myself too.
My team effort of this venture is to give advice that has effectively helped me and continues too. But also to produce individuals to think for their self and respond honestly with their self too.
Give consideration to the unhealthy and healthy aspects of one's own life. To enlighten with hope to produce a positive or healthier change for others by the experiences I have survived and the knowledge I have obtained and am still currently obtaining to produce more positive and healthier thoughts, emotions, and activities in my personal life as well. So it's not as if I am teaching but rather participating in the process of what I write too.
In reading all I have shared from the www.freedictionary.com of the word of unhappiness - what causes a person to be unhappy and sad - it is easy not to read some of these and realize; this used to be me or to get lost in focus of those faces of ones I knew and care for that have endured or survived these things below.
Equality exists in each of us on an emotional level. Even if we all are in different appearance - it gets easy to be deceived or distracted by the appreciable and lustful qualities of another. But at the core of each - is a feeling human being before anything else. They too are just an emotional being as well.
Individuals who cry. Individuals who smile. Individuals who laugh. Individuals who hurt. Individuals who fear. Individuals who question life in the silence of their thoughts. Individuals who feel deeply to belong. Individuals who feel intense emotion to be accepted for who they are. Individuals twho want to be happy and not unhappy.
That's the factual core of the invisible that exists in each of us. Even if the shedding of external unhealthy layers could exist for humans - as it does in the nature of healthiness of a snake - it would not matter.
People would still be mean, vindictive, cruel, unaccepted, and disregarding to others. People who can not see the emotional beauty expressed upon a person's face of happiness or sadness would surely over look and still not focus on a person's emotional face to realize what and who they are. Even if humans were visual snakes with the ability to shed our unhealthy emotional skins - we in our primitive defend or offend nature - would still miss the potentials for our Human Race in our survival or living choices we make. We would still fail at seeing in others or our own self that we are just emotional creatures of equality.
Perhaps, if we could spend more time learning about the hard core stuff of our self and gaining healthier views within our self - we could learn the compassion and respect of self inside. To have compassion and respect for self takes motivation, knowledge, courage, bravery, honor, individuality and a resilient persistence that only you could give or teach your self to have. Would it not be worth it to experience peacefulness, happiness, and healthier contentment when alone? So perhaps, when you are with others - you could see the world and faces in this world as a new existence.
Unhappiness is usually caused and produced by a problem waiting to be solved and seeking for the answers to solve that problem. To ease the symptoms of medical complications that unhappiness produces in a person - it has been taught - that it will usually take prescription medicine to achieve this due to our cultural pharmaceutical addictive social morality we live in. But what if it truly does not have to be this way?
Use caution. For even in the most advanced state of science and medicine - it is still theories and speculations that do produce symptom control or symptom side effects in medications. The professionals speculate or assume that neurotransmitters are over firing or under firing in the brain chemistry that causes productions to affect a person. But if you asked them to show you in a brain scan, MRI, MEG or PET scan exactly where your brain chemistry is deficient or to give you a blood test to show you factually - 9 out of 10 times - they could not - for even medicine and science are not always factual either.
For decades, the evolution of medical and scientific research has been based upon theories and Peter Principles of practice. Look at the evidence in America.
What about the economy? What about the financial matters of America that impact all our of survival and living? How many Americans are truly healthy, happy and content? How many Americans are factually unhealthy, unhappy and live miserably in discontent? How many could say they really live a financially healthy life as they do a personal healthy life? How many can factually say that they believe and trust others before they pursue and seek self intuitions first to obtain a healthier and more positive life?
I do not know honestly too many that could say that Yes - they have a healthy fulfilling and unconditionally loving home. Yes - they make wise, healthy and financial choices in their life of luxuries and necessities. Yes - they feel as great externally in appearance as they do internally in their health and silence of self.
Human beings were not designed to be perfect. Nor will we ever be capable in our knowledge, techniques, skills and tools that we will be able to 100% affirm in facts to answer all the mysteries that makes a human being an individual person.
Genetics, medical genetics, heritage, history, nature, nurture, knowledge, survival, and living through experiences, circumstances, and events will continue to make each of us unique to who and what we are - internally and externally.
But what we do to help our self within and externally - is for each of us to decide, choose and act upon accordingly. Life comes down to a viewing of healthy or unhealthy for self. If you do not define your own healthy and unhealthiness - how can anyone else help you choose the course of treatment to help you when you can not even admit what you do to your self too!
We can not snap our fingers to make another's unhappiness go away. There are no magic pills to stop the pain of unhappiness. For whatever substances are used to ease the pain - when it wears off or dejects from the body - the pain and unhappiness will still be there. The substance abuses or prescription medications levels will continue to increase or decrease based upon theories that they work but in reality - dependency is the only solution to these problems that we socially accept. What if it really does not have to be this way?
How many vicious cycles does a person have to endure and years get wasted and money get spent- before a person simply gets too tired to thrive anymore or even care about self much less asking them to care for others who share the same globe as they do? How much chaos will a person do to their Fight or Flight Response system to cope in life before the system crashes from occurrences in their lives or by the raw choices they make to mend or cope in unhealthy ways?
Examine. Evaluate. Be honest and real with your self. Create what you want of your unhealthiness to change it. Learn how to obtain the healthy that you want to keep. Learn how to change your unhappiness within. Explore growing your happiness externally only after you admit your own unhealthy within and seek to change this first. For what unhealthy ripples inside you will be evident in all those around you too.
There are many self-help tools on the Internet that a person can cater their own learning with of healthier tools and skills to apply to one's life and one's own health. Your answers are out there but you must seek to find them. I can only share so much of my journey with others for mine has been catered to me, by me. You must admit your problems and seek the solutions to mend, heal, and help your self to obtain the happiness you seek.
No one can spend your time for you. No one can tell you how to spend your life. Only you can help your self. For no matter how many good intentioned and true people that a person has in their life - it is still those moments or hours of silence that define each of us - in our healthy happiness or unhealthiness of unhappiness. Only you can learn and change your life to make it what you want in the silence of your thoughts, emotions, and sense of self.
un·hap·py
1. Not happy or joyful; sad or sorrowful: unhappy over his friend's departure.
2. Not satisfied; displeased or discontented: unhappy with her raise.
3. Not attended by or bringing good fortune; unlucky.
4. Not suitable; inappropriate: an unhappy choice of words.
the experiencing of affective and emotional states
sadness caused by grief or affliction
persisting sadness
a feeling of thoughtful sadness
a feeling of intense unhappiness
sadness resulting from being forsaken or abandoned
sadness expressed by weeping
an emotion of great sadness associated with loss or bereavement
sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment
a feeling of dreary or pessimistic sadness
sad feelings of gloom and inadequacy
the state of a person's emotions
the state of being embittered; "the embitterment that resulted from the loss of his job never left him"
the state of being sad
"He felt the loyalty we all feel to unhappiness - the sense that that is where we really belong" [Graham Greene The Heart of the Matter] -
Every one can make the conscience and silent intuition to be happy. In all honesty - for some - it will take knowledge, healthier skills and learning to achieve this. But happiness or unhappiness is the partnership you are willing to make for you and what you do to apply to your life. No one has to settle for unhappiness - unless they choose too.
"Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations" [Edward de Bono]
You are not perfect. You do have imperfections. Ease upon your self too. Set realistic talents. Set realistic and factual expectations of your self too. The stresses of unhealthiness we bring upon our own self is in the silence of each individuals mind.
But knowing that you are imperfect as every one else and that you can only do so much of your own expectations and what other's expect of you - can go along way in achieving a healthier, happier life versus the constant tail chasing of an unhealthy and unhappy life produced by internal cycles that seem to never end.
No one should choose to live that. No one. We each are worth a new internal birth when we admit, accept, and realize in self - that we are imperfect and are not as smart as we display socially. Because in the silence of our self is where the truth and facts are of each of us and what or who we really are. This is something that we equally share and a source of our individuality that only we can find and grow as we choose.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
The Many Faces of Suffering
Have you ever thought or became aware of the facial signs that display suffering? Have you ever seen a wrinkled forehead arched at the eye brows of deep concern or emotional frustration or pain? Have you ever acknowledged the red, puffy, swollen and speckled coloring on the face of another who has been flooded in their tears of suffering? What about the pronunciation of general aging lines on a person's face on their forehead, around their eyes, on their cheeks or around their mouth where there smile usually is worn but is gone due to individual suffering? What about the lowering of the corners of the mouth where a frown resides? How many really notice the facial features and expressions of another to determine their emotional feelings in the moment? How many spend time in the mirror looking at their own suffering expressions - as they occur - to learn how to know and become aware of what suffering even looks like in self?
The many faces of suffering appear visually upon the facial expressions of an individual - but how many of us even take time to acknowledge, realize and become aware that these signs of emotional distress exist. For each face is as unique to each person as the genetics that make up their DNA and their facial expressions that will each tell a different emotional story of suffering as well.
A Person I Use to Know spent years carrying emotional and very unhealthy and damaging internal silent baggage of self within. This baggage was an anchor upon almost every thought, emotion, and as an interaction guide with others - but still denying self to open up that emotional suffering baggage and look into it.
Never did this person pick up a mirror when emotionally suffering to witness and see the physical effects that she was doing to herself. For she felt the torment within and never wanted to know nor care that it maybe important to look deeper into her self to find the weightless of peace that she was searching for unconsciously and ignorantly deprived to know.
She figured if she had done enough for others and not provoke or invoke the same pain upon others - that had been done to her self - that it would be enough to help heal her self as well as help others along their journey of life and over come their suffering too. What a naive and ill-equipped lady she was. For this person was me.
I figured if I could be kind, lend my intellect where needed and contribute to all I met and anyone that I worked with - that I could assist them and discard my own internal baggage as I went along too. Wrong. Why?
Because all that old baggage carried within - is where I pulled my knowledge from - my intuition from - my lending hand from - my experiences from - and every source of who I was in trying to help others and for myself all came from the old baggage within.
Granted, through very hard lessons and mistakes; I learned alot of not repeating the same errors but it still was not enough to commit to anything of routine, emotional stability of healthiness or obtain my own internal peace when in the silence of my own emotions, thoughts and afterward from interactions with others.
For as a victim and being a survivor, I had learned through nature and nurture and maturing experiences that many skillful, helpful and even beneficial constructive traits to survive, live and enjoy life and with an insightfulness that I felt proud of.
But at the same time, this old baggage of information and unhealthiness with my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was a constant circle of triggers, trigger awareness, nightmares, flashbacks, nervousness, assumptions, speculations and panic attacks.
The emotional outbreaks and breakdowns I would have were as unhealthy to me as it was painful upon others who did not understand my cries for help and wanting a peaceful resolve - just as anyone else would want from their pains and sources of suffering too.
Emotionally suffering is the hardest aspect of individuality that any human being will endure and personally seek to overcome. For the emotional suffering we feel, think and perceive is as much about our internal core of self as it is the experiences we endure in life.
It is our silent internal thoughts that tell our emotions what to feel or not to feel and that becomes the reactions and actions that we inflict externally. Emotions can be healthy and even the lessons of learning the valuable information that suffering teaches us.
But individual awareness, perceptions and thoughts have to be carefully catered to each and understand the why of individual and internal suffering to undo the unhealthiness produced by it. More than anything it takes a personal belief that a person must admit that they have suffered long enough and deserve to be peacefully happy within to self too. That was the hardest for me.
For I was not a bad person. I had made many mistakes and was as imperfect as any one else. But I still deserved and wanted the peaceful stillness of my own thoughts and emotions. But I had to work, learn and apply this learning to achieve this.
I felt that if I had believed and admitted my internal deficiencies and unhealthiness that I done to myself - that I would lose myself - and it was like admitting defeat or failure to myself. For if I admitted what I lacked - then I would surely be an outcast more than I had already felt in my life because of who I am and how I lived and survived my life.
But when I got over my own fears to try and learn how to overcome - I gained. I have nothing but gained. In fact, after admitting and accepting what I needed within all along - I have gained more. I have gained internally within what I sought so long to stop or help others with - who needed my abilities to stop their suffering even when I was suffering within myself. But after I began this process of learning about emotions, unhealthiness, healthiness and growing my own broadening definitions of thoughts - I have never felt more internally healthy and peaceful.
For this learning about emotions and direct application to my life has helped me. I share this unique and perhaps, first perceived bizarre skillfulness to potentially assist others who know the depths of suffering as I have to help others to learn how to help them self.
For suffering is as much about what we experience internally within by our own thoughts, emotions and interpretations of what occurred to us - as it is the harm someone else or circumstances done to us.
It's like have an open blister on the hand. If you keep picking, plucking or tearing at that blister, it can never heal. It will only continue to fester and get infected and run deeper into the body and even induce blood poisoning from the infection that grows that can not heal.
But once you learn to accept the blister exists. Why it existed and what you can do to help your self to stop picking at it to heal your blister from the inside out - the blister stops. The blister heals. The blister leaves nothing but a minor reminder of a once festering sore that is now gone.
Trauma, abuses, and anything produced by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is pretty much the same theory of concept that I have applied in my own healing and suggest to anyone else who is suffering.
This is for those who are tired of the unhealthiness of old baggage that you do not know how to put down - but yet - you can not escape from it either. For those who believe that you deserve to be mended too. For those who believe that you too have erred in your ways as any other imperfect human being has too. For those who believe that you deserve the same healthy peacefulness within. Realize that you too do not have to suffer anymore and you can learn new effective and healthier skills to achieve this too.
PTSD is socially known as a normal reaction to abnormal event or circumstance that produced trauma in a person. I believe PTSD is an unhealthy reaction to ensure survival human beings to get us through the unhealthy event or circumstance we endure.
It is not blaming human beings for having this automatic response of hyper and overloaded Fight or Flight Response that throws the brain, body, Central Nervous System and Autonomic Systems for an unhealthy ride but it admitting and accepting a new perception that shows the flaw in this survival mechanism in this human beings and gives reliefs to those who truly want to stop it - overcome it in healthy manner and to finally progress and move on from it.
These survival mechanisms built in each of us is to ensure our survival through the unhealthiness we experienced. What if learning new skills or knowledge could be the essential tools that we need to learn and know to undo the unhealthiness of self to be the key to undo the PTSD - to undo our own suffering of excessive emotional baggage that served us once purposefully to ensure we survived but now it comes time to let it go by learning new skills how.
Learning how to become aware of self internally as we do externally. Learn how to replenish the baggage of internal old information and supply it with new healthier input that effectively works.
If a doctor tells a person - they need this medication or that medication to save their life - most never question the side effects, treatment, effectiveness or durations of medications. They trust their professional and take accordingly.
But what if there is more out there that we could do for our self, as patients, to achieve and gain our own healthiness? What if new knowledge or latest research hasn't been given to the professionals we seek and there is more that we could do for our self to end our suffering and our own pain through our own willingness to contribute to healthiness too? Would you motivate your self to try to obtain it? Would you seek new tools to help your self overcome the most personal and secretive of suffering that you endure to make it not only stop but to help self obtain internal peacefulness - would you take it?
Suffering occurs every single day to millions of individuals. If there is ever one emotion that can cripple and disable us all - is would be suffering. But how much of our own suffering do we contribute to self? How much suffering do we allow others to do to us because we simply do not know better or we value our self so low internally that we can not accept - that we too - do not need too nor have to suffer any longer?
Suffering is a definition that is different to each of us. Why we suffer? How we suffered? What occurred in our life that changed us because of the suffering we experienced?
Individual and personal is what suffering is about but what we do with our suffering will define and detail who we are internally. Until we learn who that person of suffering is within and the cause and effects of our lives that produce our healthiness or unhealthiness in life - we can not save others - when the pain of our self becomes replicated to others because we simply did not know or was now aware that we too - do not need to suffer anymore.
By these definitions of suffering below by the www.freedictionary.com - I believe you will see our social equality of suffering - in self or in others you know.
For suffering hurts. Suffering scars. Suffering wounds. But in keeping old suffering alive - you are only allowing your suffering to continue.
Learn how to quit picking old wounds and stop pulling from baggage that you do not need to carry anymore with you by learning how to stop this suffering you endure.
Suffering makes us all weak. Suffering makes us emotionally human. But if we can not learn how to stop our own suffering then the cause and effects of our lives will be reflected upon the faces of others that we never intentionally sought to make suffer but we do; just because we do not know any better or never realized just what our suffering is doing to us and what we have done to others.
Be aware of suffering in the faces around you. Do not fear suffering in self nor suffering in others. If you can not assist the suffering of another, then let them be and go their own way. For to produce two sufferings will never equal moral or lawfulness. Isn't that what every one seeks to achieve in life is to be moral and lawful and achieve a healthier life - along with others personal accomplishments and achievements? But how do you remove a splinter from another when you can not or refuse to accept the splinter of self too. Good intentions have helped many people but it has also contributed to the suffering of others as well - including self. It is time to learn how to stop self suffering and live the life you deserve and want to live. Old baggage of suffering does serve a purpose of survival but in learning how to live past baggage is the key to obtaining everything in life you wanted or sought for.
The condition of one who suffers; the bearing of pain or distress.
An instance of pain or distress.
the pain, misery, or loss experienced by a person who suffers
the state or an instance of enduring pain, etc.
a symptom of some physical hurt or disorder; "the patient developed severe pain and distension"
severe spasm of pain; "the throes of dying"; "the throes of childbirth"
the suffering of Jesus at the Crucifixion
emotional distress; a fundamental feeling that people try to avoid; "the pain of loneliness"
a figurative injury (to your feelings or pride); "he feared that mentioning it might reopen the wound"; "deep in her breast lives the silent wound"; "The right reader of a good poem can tell the moment it strikes him that he has taken an immortal wound--that he will never get over it"--Robert Frost
intense feelings of suffering; acute mental or physical pain; "an agony of doubt"; "the torments of the damned"
troubled by pain or loss; "suffering refugees"
troubled - characterized by or indicative of distress or affliction or danger or need; "troubled areas"; "fell into a troubled sleep"; "a troubled expression"; "troubled teenagers"
very unhappy; full of misery; "he felt depressed and miserable"; "a message of hope for suffering humanity"; "wretched prisoners huddled in stinking cages"
experiencing or marked by or causing sadness or sorrow or discontent; "unhappy over her departure"; "unhappy with her raise"; "after the argument they lapsed into an unhappy silence"; "had an unhappy time at school"; "the unhappy (or sad) news"; "he looks so sad"
The many faces of suffering appear visually upon the facial expressions of an individual - but how many of us even take time to acknowledge, realize and become aware that these signs of emotional distress exist. For each face is as unique to each person as the genetics that make up their DNA and their facial expressions that will each tell a different emotional story of suffering as well.
A Person I Use to Know spent years carrying emotional and very unhealthy and damaging internal silent baggage of self within. This baggage was an anchor upon almost every thought, emotion, and as an interaction guide with others - but still denying self to open up that emotional suffering baggage and look into it.
Never did this person pick up a mirror when emotionally suffering to witness and see the physical effects that she was doing to herself. For she felt the torment within and never wanted to know nor care that it maybe important to look deeper into her self to find the weightless of peace that she was searching for unconsciously and ignorantly deprived to know.
She figured if she had done enough for others and not provoke or invoke the same pain upon others - that had been done to her self - that it would be enough to help heal her self as well as help others along their journey of life and over come their suffering too. What a naive and ill-equipped lady she was. For this person was me.
I figured if I could be kind, lend my intellect where needed and contribute to all I met and anyone that I worked with - that I could assist them and discard my own internal baggage as I went along too. Wrong. Why?
Because all that old baggage carried within - is where I pulled my knowledge from - my intuition from - my lending hand from - my experiences from - and every source of who I was in trying to help others and for myself all came from the old baggage within.
Granted, through very hard lessons and mistakes; I learned alot of not repeating the same errors but it still was not enough to commit to anything of routine, emotional stability of healthiness or obtain my own internal peace when in the silence of my own emotions, thoughts and afterward from interactions with others.
For as a victim and being a survivor, I had learned through nature and nurture and maturing experiences that many skillful, helpful and even beneficial constructive traits to survive, live and enjoy life and with an insightfulness that I felt proud of.
But at the same time, this old baggage of information and unhealthiness with my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was a constant circle of triggers, trigger awareness, nightmares, flashbacks, nervousness, assumptions, speculations and panic attacks.
The emotional outbreaks and breakdowns I would have were as unhealthy to me as it was painful upon others who did not understand my cries for help and wanting a peaceful resolve - just as anyone else would want from their pains and sources of suffering too.
Emotionally suffering is the hardest aspect of individuality that any human being will endure and personally seek to overcome. For the emotional suffering we feel, think and perceive is as much about our internal core of self as it is the experiences we endure in life.
It is our silent internal thoughts that tell our emotions what to feel or not to feel and that becomes the reactions and actions that we inflict externally. Emotions can be healthy and even the lessons of learning the valuable information that suffering teaches us.
But individual awareness, perceptions and thoughts have to be carefully catered to each and understand the why of individual and internal suffering to undo the unhealthiness produced by it. More than anything it takes a personal belief that a person must admit that they have suffered long enough and deserve to be peacefully happy within to self too. That was the hardest for me.
For I was not a bad person. I had made many mistakes and was as imperfect as any one else. But I still deserved and wanted the peaceful stillness of my own thoughts and emotions. But I had to work, learn and apply this learning to achieve this.
I felt that if I had believed and admitted my internal deficiencies and unhealthiness that I done to myself - that I would lose myself - and it was like admitting defeat or failure to myself. For if I admitted what I lacked - then I would surely be an outcast more than I had already felt in my life because of who I am and how I lived and survived my life.
But when I got over my own fears to try and learn how to overcome - I gained. I have nothing but gained. In fact, after admitting and accepting what I needed within all along - I have gained more. I have gained internally within what I sought so long to stop or help others with - who needed my abilities to stop their suffering even when I was suffering within myself. But after I began this process of learning about emotions, unhealthiness, healthiness and growing my own broadening definitions of thoughts - I have never felt more internally healthy and peaceful.
For this learning about emotions and direct application to my life has helped me. I share this unique and perhaps, first perceived bizarre skillfulness to potentially assist others who know the depths of suffering as I have to help others to learn how to help them self.
For suffering is as much about what we experience internally within by our own thoughts, emotions and interpretations of what occurred to us - as it is the harm someone else or circumstances done to us.
It's like have an open blister on the hand. If you keep picking, plucking or tearing at that blister, it can never heal. It will only continue to fester and get infected and run deeper into the body and even induce blood poisoning from the infection that grows that can not heal.
But once you learn to accept the blister exists. Why it existed and what you can do to help your self to stop picking at it to heal your blister from the inside out - the blister stops. The blister heals. The blister leaves nothing but a minor reminder of a once festering sore that is now gone.
Trauma, abuses, and anything produced by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is pretty much the same theory of concept that I have applied in my own healing and suggest to anyone else who is suffering.
This is for those who are tired of the unhealthiness of old baggage that you do not know how to put down - but yet - you can not escape from it either. For those who believe that you deserve to be mended too. For those who believe that you too have erred in your ways as any other imperfect human being has too. For those who believe that you deserve the same healthy peacefulness within. Realize that you too do not have to suffer anymore and you can learn new effective and healthier skills to achieve this too.
PTSD is socially known as a normal reaction to abnormal event or circumstance that produced trauma in a person. I believe PTSD is an unhealthy reaction to ensure survival human beings to get us through the unhealthy event or circumstance we endure.
It is not blaming human beings for having this automatic response of hyper and overloaded Fight or Flight Response that throws the brain, body, Central Nervous System and Autonomic Systems for an unhealthy ride but it admitting and accepting a new perception that shows the flaw in this survival mechanism in this human beings and gives reliefs to those who truly want to stop it - overcome it in healthy manner and to finally progress and move on from it.
These survival mechanisms built in each of us is to ensure our survival through the unhealthiness we experienced. What if learning new skills or knowledge could be the essential tools that we need to learn and know to undo the unhealthiness of self to be the key to undo the PTSD - to undo our own suffering of excessive emotional baggage that served us once purposefully to ensure we survived but now it comes time to let it go by learning new skills how.
Learning how to become aware of self internally as we do externally. Learn how to replenish the baggage of internal old information and supply it with new healthier input that effectively works.
If a doctor tells a person - they need this medication or that medication to save their life - most never question the side effects, treatment, effectiveness or durations of medications. They trust their professional and take accordingly.
But what if there is more out there that we could do for our self, as patients, to achieve and gain our own healthiness? What if new knowledge or latest research hasn't been given to the professionals we seek and there is more that we could do for our self to end our suffering and our own pain through our own willingness to contribute to healthiness too? Would you motivate your self to try to obtain it? Would you seek new tools to help your self overcome the most personal and secretive of suffering that you endure to make it not only stop but to help self obtain internal peacefulness - would you take it?
Suffering occurs every single day to millions of individuals. If there is ever one emotion that can cripple and disable us all - is would be suffering. But how much of our own suffering do we contribute to self? How much suffering do we allow others to do to us because we simply do not know better or we value our self so low internally that we can not accept - that we too - do not need too nor have to suffer any longer?
Suffering is a definition that is different to each of us. Why we suffer? How we suffered? What occurred in our life that changed us because of the suffering we experienced?
Individual and personal is what suffering is about but what we do with our suffering will define and detail who we are internally. Until we learn who that person of suffering is within and the cause and effects of our lives that produce our healthiness or unhealthiness in life - we can not save others - when the pain of our self becomes replicated to others because we simply did not know or was now aware that we too - do not need to suffer anymore.
By these definitions of suffering below by the www.freedictionary.com - I believe you will see our social equality of suffering - in self or in others you know.
For suffering hurts. Suffering scars. Suffering wounds. But in keeping old suffering alive - you are only allowing your suffering to continue.
Learn how to quit picking old wounds and stop pulling from baggage that you do not need to carry anymore with you by learning how to stop this suffering you endure.
Suffering makes us all weak. Suffering makes us emotionally human. But if we can not learn how to stop our own suffering then the cause and effects of our lives will be reflected upon the faces of others that we never intentionally sought to make suffer but we do; just because we do not know any better or never realized just what our suffering is doing to us and what we have done to others.
Be aware of suffering in the faces around you. Do not fear suffering in self nor suffering in others. If you can not assist the suffering of another, then let them be and go their own way. For to produce two sufferings will never equal moral or lawfulness. Isn't that what every one seeks to achieve in life is to be moral and lawful and achieve a healthier life - along with others personal accomplishments and achievements? But how do you remove a splinter from another when you can not or refuse to accept the splinter of self too. Good intentions have helped many people but it has also contributed to the suffering of others as well - including self. It is time to learn how to stop self suffering and live the life you deserve and want to live. Old baggage of suffering does serve a purpose of survival but in learning how to live past baggage is the key to obtaining everything in life you wanted or sought for.
The condition of one who suffers; the bearing of pain or distress.
An instance of pain or distress.
the pain, misery, or loss experienced by a person who suffers
the state or an instance of enduring pain, etc.
a symptom of some physical hurt or disorder; "the patient developed severe pain and distension"
severe spasm of pain; "the throes of dying"; "the throes of childbirth"
the suffering of Jesus at the Crucifixion
emotional distress; a fundamental feeling that people try to avoid; "the pain of loneliness"
a figurative injury (to your feelings or pride); "he feared that mentioning it might reopen the wound"; "deep in her breast lives the silent wound"; "The right reader of a good poem can tell the moment it strikes him that he has taken an immortal wound--that he will never get over it"--Robert Frost
intense feelings of suffering; acute mental or physical pain; "an agony of doubt"; "the torments of the damned"
troubled by pain or loss; "suffering refugees"
troubled - characterized by or indicative of distress or affliction or danger or need; "troubled areas"; "fell into a troubled sleep"; "a troubled expression"; "troubled teenagers"
very unhappy; full of misery; "he felt depressed and miserable"; "a message of hope for suffering humanity"; "wretched prisoners huddled in stinking cages"
experiencing or marked by or causing sadness or sorrow or discontent; "unhappy over her departure"; "unhappy with her raise"; "after the argument they lapsed into an unhappy silence"; "had an unhappy time at school"; "the unhappy (or sad) news"; "he looks so sad"
Friday, December 20, 2013
Take Control of Sorrow
A Person I Use to Know lived their life with a daily and weekly visitation from sorrow, grief, and an internal constant sadness that was sometimes too difficult and depressing to want to continue on. Learning how to control sorrow, grief, unhappiness, and sadness were the hardest emotional conflicts that ever endured. But she is learning. She prevails. That person was and is me.
Sorrow comes to visit each individual many times in life. On the scale of a number system to give number to the pain produced of sorrow - grief or unhappiness and sadness; it is only up to each to become aware to what these words mean to one's life; how it happened; and where to move forward or regress backward from it. Does your grief or sorrow rank a 1 out of 10? Is it a 10 out of 10? Only you can be aware and learn how to grow control of the emotions in your life.
I am learning many things about emotions that I never knew until committing to this education. Emotions are meant to be a source of information for the human brain and body.
But through heritage, history, culture, nature, nurture, individual experiences and religion - most have been accustomed to defending their emotions or offending some one's emotions.
All a person has to do inflict pain is to speak about politics, religions, sexuality, gender biased comments or condemn another for their lifestyle choices and the battle of war begins of emotional ingredients.
Perhaps, if we could seek more into emotional understanding of our self to grow a healthier sense of emotional fulfillment within - we could see, be aware of and even respect those who we disagree with - but we all could safely co-exist together in this world.
Perhaps, if education can grow our profits then why wouldn't emotional understanding help us to grow our own morality and lawfulness as well as extend the same freedom and privileges to others without condemnation too?
Discrimination is alive today in verbal emotional slavery, creating hostages and tormented people as it ever has been alive in history. All the social advancements that we create and enjoy in luxuries or comforts can never eradicate or stop the pain that millions suffer from in their emotional individual conflicts and lack of awareness to seek and achieve healthier ways to solve their problems and ensure they do not repeat these individual problems that end up multiplying to the masses.
No one is 100% right or 100% wrong. There are no experts that reside above the core of another human being.
People of professional titles are created by individual choices they each make to create a financial lifestyle of comfort and perhaps to provide service to others. That is all.
There is never any reason to be intimidated by anyone or fearful of others. For they cry the same way you do. They laugh in the same processes as you do. They hurt, feel pain, feel agony, have worries and live an emotional life like any one else does.
When you scrap away the titles that is used socially about people -. they are as human as you or me.
It is only through our emotions that we are all equal. If you view another person, people, and yourself as an emotional contributor or destroyer - it enlightens. Gives way to understand those of emotional conflicts and why. Gives solutions to solving emotional problems. Not excuses, blame and negative emotions that has became the way to solving problems with ineffective techniques.
For the weapons of war are not as dangerous or as large a threat to the Human Race as those who seek to emotionally destroy because they emotionally suffer within. The conflicts we experience in society are due to the differences we experience in our emotions and how we react or actively retaliate upon these emotions.
I read quotes every day. Every topic imaginable - there is a quote that exists for it. Quotes have their own musical entities without a sound for their messages can be powerfully moving just as a song lyric can be or the beat of steady drum or loud guitar riff in a song. I give no priority or biased or judgments to what religion, beliefs, or political affiliation or role of a person that has written a quote and shares their quotes. Because a positive message is a positive message. Positivity makes for motivation or courage and spreads some humanity enlightenment of cheer.
Dalai Lama makes a very valid point - "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." - Do you know what your compassion to your self is? Do you practice compassion within your own thoughts, emotions and the silence that churns in you? Does your internal being feel tormented, tortured or are you at peace?
Compassion is an individual personal value that only a person can grow or learn how to produce within. Compassion to others will follow and increase in one's life - once a person obtains how to gain compassion within self.
I leave all this information of sorrow from www.thefreedictionary.com for you to draw your own education from and perceptions about.
Compassion is a key element that can ease, release and free one from their own binding sorrow, griefs, unhappiness, and sadness within. But only if a person is willing to admit, accept and seek solutions to their emotional problems.
In life, we use tools all around us every day to entertain our self - entertain others - socialize globally through social media and even keep in the know of the celebrities or role models we have.
But how many really think of their words as tools or their emotions as tools or even weapons? How many spend more time playing or entertaining as their primary focus instead of learning how to grow their knowledge, acceptance, and compassion of self with new healthier tools?
I am not an expert. I have experienced so much diversity in my life that I only seek to enlighten others as I have been enlightened. I am an optimistic person who has applied new skills and knowledge my entire life to survive my life and enjoy living. I have never been afraid to seek and find new knowledge, tools and skills to assist my life and assist others in my journey to live. We are contributors or destroyers in this one life that we live. We are not in control of many things that occur or happen to us but the areas that we can be in control of is where we need to start questioning and answering and doing something directly hands on in our life.
I dare you to take a few minutes. Document on paper the good or healthy you have done in your life and for others. NOW - document on paper the bad or unhealthy you have done in your life and for others too.
Which list is longer? What aspects would you like to change? What do you know how to change? What do you NOT know how to change? There is your keys to controlling your life and taking control of the sorrow, grief, unhappy and sadness.
Today is all we have to ever achieve. For the past is gone. Tomorrow has not arrived and may not arrive. So make today as an every day resolution. Do something for your self to help your self to learn and grow. No one can do it for you - no matter how much love - you think you have or how much you want or need. Even love takes giving contributions as well as receiving love. Compassion does destroys sorrow and grief. Grow some compassion for your self and others today. It's never to late to start - Today.
Mental suffering or pain caused by injury, loss, or despair. See Synonyms at regret.
A source or cause of sorrow; a misfortune.
Expression of sorrow; grieving.
To feel or express sorrow. Synonyms - grieve.
the characteristic feeling of sadness, grief, or regret associated with loss, bereavement, sympathy for another's suffering, for an injury done, etc.
a particular cause or source of regret, grief, etc.
Also called sorrowing the outward expression of grief or sadness
distress caused by loss, disappointment, etc.; grief.
a cause or occasion of grief, as a misfortune.
the expression of grief: muffled sorrow.
to feel or express sorrow; grieve.
an emotion of great sadness associated with loss or bereavement; "he tried to express his sorrow at her loss"
emotions experienced when not in a state of well-being
devastating sorrow and despair; "he is recovering from a broken heart"; "a broken heart languishes here"
sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment; "he drank to drown his sorrows"; "he wrote a note expressing his regret"; "to his rue, the error cost him the game"
sorrow for sin arising from fear of damnation
a stimulus with undesirable consequences
intense sorrow caused by loss of a loved one (especially by death)
state of sorrow over the death or departure of a loved one
experience (emotional) pain; "Every time her husband gets drunk, she suffers"
"There is no greater sorrow than to recall a time of happiness in misery" [Dante Divine Comedy]
"Into each life some rain must fall" [Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]
"Sorrow makes us wise" [Alfred Tennyson In Memoriam]
"Sorrow is tranquillity remembered in emotion" [Dorothy Parker Here Lies]
Sorrow comes to visit each individual many times in life. On the scale of a number system to give number to the pain produced of sorrow - grief or unhappiness and sadness; it is only up to each to become aware to what these words mean to one's life; how it happened; and where to move forward or regress backward from it. Does your grief or sorrow rank a 1 out of 10? Is it a 10 out of 10? Only you can be aware and learn how to grow control of the emotions in your life.
I am learning many things about emotions that I never knew until committing to this education. Emotions are meant to be a source of information for the human brain and body.
But through heritage, history, culture, nature, nurture, individual experiences and religion - most have been accustomed to defending their emotions or offending some one's emotions.
All a person has to do inflict pain is to speak about politics, religions, sexuality, gender biased comments or condemn another for their lifestyle choices and the battle of war begins of emotional ingredients.
Perhaps, if we could seek more into emotional understanding of our self to grow a healthier sense of emotional fulfillment within - we could see, be aware of and even respect those who we disagree with - but we all could safely co-exist together in this world.
Perhaps, if education can grow our profits then why wouldn't emotional understanding help us to grow our own morality and lawfulness as well as extend the same freedom and privileges to others without condemnation too?
Discrimination is alive today in verbal emotional slavery, creating hostages and tormented people as it ever has been alive in history. All the social advancements that we create and enjoy in luxuries or comforts can never eradicate or stop the pain that millions suffer from in their emotional individual conflicts and lack of awareness to seek and achieve healthier ways to solve their problems and ensure they do not repeat these individual problems that end up multiplying to the masses.
No one is 100% right or 100% wrong. There are no experts that reside above the core of another human being.
People of professional titles are created by individual choices they each make to create a financial lifestyle of comfort and perhaps to provide service to others. That is all.
There is never any reason to be intimidated by anyone or fearful of others. For they cry the same way you do. They laugh in the same processes as you do. They hurt, feel pain, feel agony, have worries and live an emotional life like any one else does.
When you scrap away the titles that is used socially about people -. they are as human as you or me.
It is only through our emotions that we are all equal. If you view another person, people, and yourself as an emotional contributor or destroyer - it enlightens. Gives way to understand those of emotional conflicts and why. Gives solutions to solving emotional problems. Not excuses, blame and negative emotions that has became the way to solving problems with ineffective techniques.
For the weapons of war are not as dangerous or as large a threat to the Human Race as those who seek to emotionally destroy because they emotionally suffer within. The conflicts we experience in society are due to the differences we experience in our emotions and how we react or actively retaliate upon these emotions.
I read quotes every day. Every topic imaginable - there is a quote that exists for it. Quotes have their own musical entities without a sound for their messages can be powerfully moving just as a song lyric can be or the beat of steady drum or loud guitar riff in a song. I give no priority or biased or judgments to what religion, beliefs, or political affiliation or role of a person that has written a quote and shares their quotes. Because a positive message is a positive message. Positivity makes for motivation or courage and spreads some humanity enlightenment of cheer.
Dalai Lama makes a very valid point - "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." - Do you know what your compassion to your self is? Do you practice compassion within your own thoughts, emotions and the silence that churns in you? Does your internal being feel tormented, tortured or are you at peace?
Compassion is an individual personal value that only a person can grow or learn how to produce within. Compassion to others will follow and increase in one's life - once a person obtains how to gain compassion within self.
I leave all this information of sorrow from www.thefreedictionary.com for you to draw your own education from and perceptions about.
Compassion is a key element that can ease, release and free one from their own binding sorrow, griefs, unhappiness, and sadness within. But only if a person is willing to admit, accept and seek solutions to their emotional problems.
In life, we use tools all around us every day to entertain our self - entertain others - socialize globally through social media and even keep in the know of the celebrities or role models we have.
But how many really think of their words as tools or their emotions as tools or even weapons? How many spend more time playing or entertaining as their primary focus instead of learning how to grow their knowledge, acceptance, and compassion of self with new healthier tools?
I am not an expert. I have experienced so much diversity in my life that I only seek to enlighten others as I have been enlightened. I am an optimistic person who has applied new skills and knowledge my entire life to survive my life and enjoy living. I have never been afraid to seek and find new knowledge, tools and skills to assist my life and assist others in my journey to live. We are contributors or destroyers in this one life that we live. We are not in control of many things that occur or happen to us but the areas that we can be in control of is where we need to start questioning and answering and doing something directly hands on in our life.
I dare you to take a few minutes. Document on paper the good or healthy you have done in your life and for others. NOW - document on paper the bad or unhealthy you have done in your life and for others too.
Which list is longer? What aspects would you like to change? What do you know how to change? What do you NOT know how to change? There is your keys to controlling your life and taking control of the sorrow, grief, unhappy and sadness.
Today is all we have to ever achieve. For the past is gone. Tomorrow has not arrived and may not arrive. So make today as an every day resolution. Do something for your self to help your self to learn and grow. No one can do it for you - no matter how much love - you think you have or how much you want or need. Even love takes giving contributions as well as receiving love. Compassion does destroys sorrow and grief. Grow some compassion for your self and others today. It's never to late to start - Today.
Mental suffering or pain caused by injury, loss, or despair. See Synonyms at regret.
A source or cause of sorrow; a misfortune.
Expression of sorrow; grieving.
To feel or express sorrow. Synonyms - grieve.
the characteristic feeling of sadness, grief, or regret associated with loss, bereavement, sympathy for another's suffering, for an injury done, etc.
a particular cause or source of regret, grief, etc.
Also called sorrowing the outward expression of grief or sadness
distress caused by loss, disappointment, etc.; grief.
a cause or occasion of grief, as a misfortune.
the expression of grief: muffled sorrow.
to feel or express sorrow; grieve.
an emotion of great sadness associated with loss or bereavement; "he tried to express his sorrow at her loss"
emotions experienced when not in a state of well-being
devastating sorrow and despair; "he is recovering from a broken heart"; "a broken heart languishes here"
sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment; "he drank to drown his sorrows"; "he wrote a note expressing his regret"; "to his rue, the error cost him the game"
sorrow for sin arising from fear of damnation
a stimulus with undesirable consequences
intense sorrow caused by loss of a loved one (especially by death)
state of sorrow over the death or departure of a loved one
experience (emotional) pain; "Every time her husband gets drunk, she suffers"
"There is no greater sorrow than to recall a time of happiness in misery" [Dante Divine Comedy]
"Into each life some rain must fall" [Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]
"Sorrow makes us wise" [Alfred Tennyson In Memoriam]
"Sorrow is tranquillity remembered in emotion" [Dorothy Parker Here Lies]
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
The Equality of Rejection
I do enjoy the self happiness with new challenges very much. Emotions to control, maintain and learn in a healthy manner as a focus of health that socially or medically is not embarked upon enough for the overall well-being for the Human Race - as it is should be.
My word of today's learning is rejection. How could equality in rejection exist? By the time you read this; I hope you can be enlightened and perceive a new healthier focus of rejection and how this one emotion creates us to be equal. How this one emotion visits most individuals in their life probably more than any other emotion does. How this one emotion provokes reactions in us by the rejection of others or even the rejections we tell our self internally when we feel less than adequate or sufficient or fearful to attempt something in our lives.
A Person I Use to Know wasted decades of life upon the primary focus of worries, anxieties, depressions, and circumstances produced by rejection that if you could name an emotion as the primary symptom of a medical condition - Rejection - would have been hers. The heart break, heart aches, uncertainties, isolation, desolation, depressions, outcast, solo, solitude, bitterness, anger, sorrows, griefs, mistakes, accomplishments, and happiness were all tangled together in this nasty ball of emotional muck that made no sense. For her intellectual existence could explain the basic principles and functions of life to survive, succeed and to enjoying living but at the core of her - she could never get past the rejections of her own life - done to her by others - but also those she hurt in the process because of these rejections that did not only impacte her self immediately but every one in her life. This person was me that I used to know.
It's irony in a sense - for now in learning - I can laugh at rejection. Rejection does not beat me up internally within anymore with my emotions, mentality, and logical thinking as it use too. For the facts of rejection is that it teaches us. Whether it is a healthy or unhealthy lesson is merely for each to know and to grow healthier perceptions in self. The facts of rejection is that it will occur in life. Rejections will come and go - when you are solo or when you are associated or socializing with others. What you do with the visit of rejection - is for your course of action to steer forward or keep moving backward from rejection.
Rejection hurts. Rejection angers. Rejection segregates. Rejection can disable. Rejection can motivate. Rejection can be courageous. Rejection can be brave. Rejection can be the muscle to get you moving in a new direction of change for self or it can be the mud hole you sit in - all because of what you choose to do with rejection in your life.
The movie, Joe Dirt, has to be the most funniest script I have ever seen produced on the big screen. For the hillbilly and rural representation this movie does of an orphan seeking his family is not a movie that most could relate too other than for a laugh factor but truth be known - there are more individuals that can call out family members in it as I could relate in this way to it.
But for someone as genetic controversial and of circumstance survival - it was like watching a distant family member on screen for me! I kid you not and it's not easy to admit that about my life but it is funny and in some aspects factually relatable.
For Joe Dirt was on the adventure to find his birth parents and tallied up a pile of nice people that he met who helped him and cheered his quest on. At the end of the movie, he found out the facts of his parents that he was seeking which was not the illusions or perceptions he had dreamed them to be. As he choose to let them go, he became aware through his supporters, friends and associates that he meet along the way - that he was able to grow his own sense of family through friends that he hadn't even become aware of that he had until he accepted what his parents factually were. He choose to leave them and the parents did reject him and did cast him off but he chose to leave them to find better as he deserved in his life. A hilarious fictional movie but a joking factor about many lives of family units, human nature and a valid point of rejection in relationships of people.
If you view rejection as a personal or self attack against yourself - you will hinder your self, hurt your self, anger your self or pain your self more than you deserve. You will keep unhealthy baggage in yourself when you refuse to face rejection, accept it and let it go to move on in a healthier manner from what it taught you. Once you learn how or perceive rejection differently as Joe Dirt did - you realize - that sometimes - you must move forward and away from those who rejected you - so you can find those who were meant to be in your life and who want to be a part of your life as much as you do theirs. So equality can be found of how you want and deserve to be treated.
Wasting precious years, seconds, minutes, health, brain, body and emotional resources upon the wrong, damaging, unhealthy and destructive people to seek or gain acceptance and approval of - will not only destroy you but every one involved in your immediate life. The pain or anger does not just because yours but it also trickles to those closest to you. You must ask yourself is these people that reject you really worth it? Is the rejection that you feed into the silence of your emotions, thoughts and body helping your health to become healthier or are they making you ill with panic, worry, nervousness, and fear?
These quotes and historical quotes from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rejection; offered me a new defining of rejection. Perhaps, you can use forgiveness and humor in it - as I did - and a new healthier focus about rejection too. If you invite others into your life - rejection - will come and go. But how long rejection effects stay are completely up to you. Rejection is complex but when you view how rejection affects you and fuels your actions in self about rejection and what your rejection does to another; then you realize - that your actions produced in rejection causes another to feel just as bad as you do. You end up doing just as another has done to you. The key of learning how to make rejection healthy versus unhealthy begins in the change of focus in each of us. The emotions of Rejection affect us all equally but what we choose to do with it to create a healthier change or produce the regression of submissive misery. Who has rejection ever helped or benefited when stubborn or ignorance taught rejection to fight back to produce the same pain or emotional hurt as we felt in rejection? No one.
1. The act of rejecting or the state of being rejected.
2. Something rejected.
3. Medicine The failure of a recipient's body to accept a transplanted tissue or organ as the result of immunological incompatibility; immunological resistance to foreign tissue.
Cast away [anger] like spoiled milk —Marge Piercy
Discarded like outmoded customs —Elyse Sommer
Discarded (me) like yesterday’s underpants —Sue Grafton
Dropped … like a dead fish —T. Glen Coughlin
Dropped [from a list] … like a hot rivet —Loren D. Estleman
He shook them [young women] off his back like a young stallion shaking off an unskilled rider —Russell Banks
Keep at a distance, like someone with an infectious disease —Anon
Push her away like a clinging dog —Daphne du Maurier
Push me aside like a kitchen chair —Philip Levine
Put (such thoughts) aside like chewed-up grapeskins —Bertold Brecht
Rejected [bad news] … like a transplanted organ —Pat Conroy
Rejected [praise] like counterfeit money —William Mcllvanney
Shoved aside like a row boat nosed away by a tanker —Mary Gordon
Shun him like the plague —Charles Dickens
Some men, like spaniels, will only fawn the more when repulsed, but will pay little heed to a friendly caress —Abd-el-Kader
Spurn my passion like a worm —Jean Racine
Swept her aside as if she were a cobweb —Susan Kelly
They just dropped me … like a bag of potatoes —Njabulo Ndebele
Threw aside everything … like a contemptible burden —Heinrich Böll
BLACKBALL To exclude; to cast a negative vote against a candidate or applicant seeking admission to a select group.
BLACKLIST To bar or exclude from something as work or a club; also, the list of people so excluded; hence, those under suspicion, censure, or otherwise out of favor with the powers that be.
CUT OFF WITH A SHILLING To disinherit, especially by bequeathing a shilling or other nominal sum to show that the disinheritance was deliberate.
DEAR JOHN LETTER A letter from a woman telling her boyfriend, fiancé, or husband that she is jilting him for someone else.
GET THE HOOK To have one’s performance abruptly terminated; to be fired; to receive or be subjected to dismissal.
GIVE A BASKET To refuse to wed; to discard a fiancé.
GIVE THE AIR To suddenly jilt a lover or sweetheart; to abruptly fire an employee;
GIVE THE BAG To leave a paramour suddenly or unexpectedly; to discharge a person from his job or duties.
GIVE THE COLD SHOULDER To display indifference or disregard toward; to ignore or snub; also to show the cold shoulder.
GIVE THE GATE To reject or dismiss; to give someone the brush-off; to fire, or let go from employment.
GIVE THE MITTEN To jilt a sweetheart; to reject a romantically inclined admirer; to discharge an employee.
GONG [SOMEONE] To terminate a person’s performance before its completion; to fire; to dismiss rudely.
TURN UP ONE'S NOSE AT To regard with disdain, to show contempt for; to reject or refuse scornfully; snub.
WHISTLE [SOMEONE] DOWN THE WIND To forsake, abandon, or discard.
something that people do or cause to happen
apostasy, defection, renunciation - the state of having rejected your religious beliefs or your political party or a cause (often in favor of opposing beliefs or causes)
Rejection is active, healthier than humans and alive every where in every word spoken or action occurring today. What are you going to do differently with the rejection of self and those of your life? What did you learn? Did you gain anything funny to laugh at because you learned something different on an old emotion? Have you been enlightened about chewing on the same old grape seed skins yet? Are you going to learn how to spit the old emotions out for good now? Thoughts of self ponder to seek change in this one word of sad's friends known as rejection - is it not?
My word of today's learning is rejection. How could equality in rejection exist? By the time you read this; I hope you can be enlightened and perceive a new healthier focus of rejection and how this one emotion creates us to be equal. How this one emotion visits most individuals in their life probably more than any other emotion does. How this one emotion provokes reactions in us by the rejection of others or even the rejections we tell our self internally when we feel less than adequate or sufficient or fearful to attempt something in our lives.
A Person I Use to Know wasted decades of life upon the primary focus of worries, anxieties, depressions, and circumstances produced by rejection that if you could name an emotion as the primary symptom of a medical condition - Rejection - would have been hers. The heart break, heart aches, uncertainties, isolation, desolation, depressions, outcast, solo, solitude, bitterness, anger, sorrows, griefs, mistakes, accomplishments, and happiness were all tangled together in this nasty ball of emotional muck that made no sense. For her intellectual existence could explain the basic principles and functions of life to survive, succeed and to enjoying living but at the core of her - she could never get past the rejections of her own life - done to her by others - but also those she hurt in the process because of these rejections that did not only impacte her self immediately but every one in her life. This person was me that I used to know.
It's irony in a sense - for now in learning - I can laugh at rejection. Rejection does not beat me up internally within anymore with my emotions, mentality, and logical thinking as it use too. For the facts of rejection is that it teaches us. Whether it is a healthy or unhealthy lesson is merely for each to know and to grow healthier perceptions in self. The facts of rejection is that it will occur in life. Rejections will come and go - when you are solo or when you are associated or socializing with others. What you do with the visit of rejection - is for your course of action to steer forward or keep moving backward from rejection.
Rejection hurts. Rejection angers. Rejection segregates. Rejection can disable. Rejection can motivate. Rejection can be courageous. Rejection can be brave. Rejection can be the muscle to get you moving in a new direction of change for self or it can be the mud hole you sit in - all because of what you choose to do with rejection in your life.
The movie, Joe Dirt, has to be the most funniest script I have ever seen produced on the big screen. For the hillbilly and rural representation this movie does of an orphan seeking his family is not a movie that most could relate too other than for a laugh factor but truth be known - there are more individuals that can call out family members in it as I could relate in this way to it.
But for someone as genetic controversial and of circumstance survival - it was like watching a distant family member on screen for me! I kid you not and it's not easy to admit that about my life but it is funny and in some aspects factually relatable.
For Joe Dirt was on the adventure to find his birth parents and tallied up a pile of nice people that he met who helped him and cheered his quest on. At the end of the movie, he found out the facts of his parents that he was seeking which was not the illusions or perceptions he had dreamed them to be. As he choose to let them go, he became aware through his supporters, friends and associates that he meet along the way - that he was able to grow his own sense of family through friends that he hadn't even become aware of that he had until he accepted what his parents factually were. He choose to leave them and the parents did reject him and did cast him off but he chose to leave them to find better as he deserved in his life. A hilarious fictional movie but a joking factor about many lives of family units, human nature and a valid point of rejection in relationships of people.
If you view rejection as a personal or self attack against yourself - you will hinder your self, hurt your self, anger your self or pain your self more than you deserve. You will keep unhealthy baggage in yourself when you refuse to face rejection, accept it and let it go to move on in a healthier manner from what it taught you. Once you learn how or perceive rejection differently as Joe Dirt did - you realize - that sometimes - you must move forward and away from those who rejected you - so you can find those who were meant to be in your life and who want to be a part of your life as much as you do theirs. So equality can be found of how you want and deserve to be treated.
Wasting precious years, seconds, minutes, health, brain, body and emotional resources upon the wrong, damaging, unhealthy and destructive people to seek or gain acceptance and approval of - will not only destroy you but every one involved in your immediate life. The pain or anger does not just because yours but it also trickles to those closest to you. You must ask yourself is these people that reject you really worth it? Is the rejection that you feed into the silence of your emotions, thoughts and body helping your health to become healthier or are they making you ill with panic, worry, nervousness, and fear?
These quotes and historical quotes from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rejection; offered me a new defining of rejection. Perhaps, you can use forgiveness and humor in it - as I did - and a new healthier focus about rejection too. If you invite others into your life - rejection - will come and go. But how long rejection effects stay are completely up to you. Rejection is complex but when you view how rejection affects you and fuels your actions in self about rejection and what your rejection does to another; then you realize - that your actions produced in rejection causes another to feel just as bad as you do. You end up doing just as another has done to you. The key of learning how to make rejection healthy versus unhealthy begins in the change of focus in each of us. The emotions of Rejection affect us all equally but what we choose to do with it to create a healthier change or produce the regression of submissive misery. Who has rejection ever helped or benefited when stubborn or ignorance taught rejection to fight back to produce the same pain or emotional hurt as we felt in rejection? No one.
1. The act of rejecting or the state of being rejected.
2. Something rejected.
3. Medicine The failure of a recipient's body to accept a transplanted tissue or organ as the result of immunological incompatibility; immunological resistance to foreign tissue.
Cast away [anger] like spoiled milk —Marge Piercy
Discarded like outmoded customs —Elyse Sommer
Discarded (me) like yesterday’s underpants —Sue Grafton
Dropped … like a dead fish —T. Glen Coughlin
Dropped [from a list] … like a hot rivet —Loren D. Estleman
He shook them [young women] off his back like a young stallion shaking off an unskilled rider —Russell Banks
Keep at a distance, like someone with an infectious disease —Anon
Push her away like a clinging dog —Daphne du Maurier
Push me aside like a kitchen chair —Philip Levine
Put (such thoughts) aside like chewed-up grapeskins —Bertold Brecht
Rejected [bad news] … like a transplanted organ —Pat Conroy
Rejected [praise] like counterfeit money —William Mcllvanney
Shoved aside like a row boat nosed away by a tanker —Mary Gordon
Shun him like the plague —Charles Dickens
Some men, like spaniels, will only fawn the more when repulsed, but will pay little heed to a friendly caress —Abd-el-Kader
Spurn my passion like a worm —Jean Racine
Swept her aside as if she were a cobweb —Susan Kelly
They just dropped me … like a bag of potatoes —Njabulo Ndebele
Threw aside everything … like a contemptible burden —Heinrich Böll
BLACKBALL To exclude; to cast a negative vote against a candidate or applicant seeking admission to a select group.
BLACKLIST To bar or exclude from something as work or a club; also, the list of people so excluded; hence, those under suspicion, censure, or otherwise out of favor with the powers that be.
CUT OFF WITH A SHILLING To disinherit, especially by bequeathing a shilling or other nominal sum to show that the disinheritance was deliberate.
DEAR JOHN LETTER A letter from a woman telling her boyfriend, fiancé, or husband that she is jilting him for someone else.
GET THE HOOK To have one’s performance abruptly terminated; to be fired; to receive or be subjected to dismissal.
GIVE A BASKET To refuse to wed; to discard a fiancé.
GIVE THE AIR To suddenly jilt a lover or sweetheart; to abruptly fire an employee;
GIVE THE BAG To leave a paramour suddenly or unexpectedly; to discharge a person from his job or duties.
GIVE THE COLD SHOULDER To display indifference or disregard toward; to ignore or snub; also to show the cold shoulder.
GIVE THE GATE To reject or dismiss; to give someone the brush-off; to fire, or let go from employment.
GIVE THE MITTEN To jilt a sweetheart; to reject a romantically inclined admirer; to discharge an employee.
GONG [SOMEONE] To terminate a person’s performance before its completion; to fire; to dismiss rudely.
TURN UP ONE'S NOSE AT To regard with disdain, to show contempt for; to reject or refuse scornfully; snub.
WHISTLE [SOMEONE] DOWN THE WIND To forsake, abandon, or discard.
something that people do or cause to happen
apostasy, defection, renunciation - the state of having rejected your religious beliefs or your political party or a cause (often in favor of opposing beliefs or causes)
Rejection is active, healthier than humans and alive every where in every word spoken or action occurring today. What are you going to do differently with the rejection of self and those of your life? What did you learn? Did you gain anything funny to laugh at because you learned something different on an old emotion? Have you been enlightened about chewing on the same old grape seed skins yet? Are you going to learn how to spit the old emotions out for good now? Thoughts of self ponder to seek change in this one word of sad's friends known as rejection - is it not?
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Pity Produces Chapter 11 Bankruptcy in the Human Race
Someone I Use to Know hated to feel pity - but at times, would accept the emotion to feel my own pity in life to seek help to solve my problems that I usually created through ignorance, bad choices and impulsive decisions that left me and others financially or economically impaired.
There was occasions where my pity need was supported or comforted from others without tangible materials too. But mostly, my pity came in various actions, decisions and things I choose to do. Pity can be a very hurtful and lonely emotion. Pity can be very manipulative, destructive, isolating and unhealthy as it comes for self and those around you if you are not aware to pity's properties and use pity wisely to prevent destruction - as many seek and do through ignorance. Pity in genuine form can help in a healthy way when someone understands your issues and offers to help without tangible materials, financial dependencies or creating a long term relationship built upon self-pities.
For pity can be a healthy emotion when actively used with logic and rational actions. But pity can also be a declination emotion that not only takes from the resources of others but produces a trail of Chapter 11 Bankruptcy in the human race too.
Pity can leave a person emotionally, mentally, rationally and logically bankrupt and void within. They focus on the past of pity in their life instead of their present healthy potentials. Their views become of narrow scope and are ignorant by the unhealthiness they have experienced or survived in life. It is not trashing people's intellect or their choice of lifestyles or the circumstances that adversely or harshly harmed them - it is just how it is when many victims, survivors and society even pities and segregates individuals of this nature and nurture. Many individuals of adversity will seek externally what they can not find internally to fill the voids of their life that their own self pity produced in them and that social programs, organizations, and even government programs created in them with financial dependencies. I speak sometimes harshly about emotions and the cause and effects of these sensitivities because this person I share frequently of Someone I Use to Know was indeed me.
It is not easy to admit that in being unaware of past times of the hurt, wrong, and impulsive choices I made in my own pity and using the genuine generosities of others to help me through difficult times. But I did and have. This unhealthiness in me was a long era of applying old unhealthy habits on a quest to produce healthier circumstances of my life. But until I started learning about emotions, what they are factually versus personal comfort and discomforts with them, and the data of information they are in the human brain and body versus the ignorance of personalization that tends to occur with one's thoughts and emotions - I felt I was fine at many of my choices. I now know better through learning healthier views, healthier scopes, and healthier information of going back as a novice in my emotions and thoughts that even when my motives to assist, help others and to seek help myself were alot of unhealthiness that hurt others feelings, emotions and finances too. I can not ever repay financially, emotionally or rationally explain the errors of my ways and apologize for my wrongs I have did. I can only share my heartfelt process of learning a new healthier way from an old unhealthy way so perhaps, it can help others to not make the mistakes, errors or bad choices as I have made through the life experiences of healthy traits versus unhealthy behaviors and unhealthy emotions. Never become so stubborn in your ways or views that you go blind and put your self in a corner or others - where you do not have too and can learn how to undo the old processes of negative emotions, unhealthy thoughts and suffer terrible consequences because of it.
Pity is my word of the day. It takes every ounce of awareness, prevention, and learning the factual attributes of pity to be able to stop it. To stop the unhealthiness in people that pity causes but also to cease the ending of a pity supplied society. Pity has made patients out of individuals for too long contributing to the escalating costs of medical care and health care treatments. For pity is the least of spoken emotions and probably the one that is the most misunderstood. For pity can not be spoken to another with out stinging the person who speaks it also through personal reflection. So it will take education, logic and reason to stop the bankruptcy of morality and lawfulness and dependency that pity creates, enables and devastates generation after generation.
I share some enlightening information about the chain of pity and how far it is visibly extends using facts of a dictionary. The most ironic concept I thought about of pity was manipulation to add to its properties as well. For pity in unhealthy individuals and dysfunctions of unhealthy family units - pity is the sword that becomes the weapon used against the healthy individuals or it becomes as a defense for the victims and survivors to pick upon and use a darkening light in their life.
Pity is used as a self-defense mechanism from prying eyes or those who seek to destruct what they perceive their normal behavior to be - when in fact - it is so destructive to all involved that it creates, imbreeds and multiples into generations that know how to manipulate the truth, lies, and facts that it uses pity to gain social acceptance and personal fulfillment. The unhealthiest forms of pity and manipulation used together are used in cases of child abuse, domestic violence, substance abuses and prescription drug abuse. These takers of the human race usually end up in cycles of jail, imprisonment, law charges filed in their records and criminal activity become their way of life by not understanding or being aware to the ignorance of their own unhealthiness learned through nature, nature, surviving, living and experiences all guided and choosen by old unhealthy internal processes.
Individuals of pity are some of the most conflicting individuals to interact with or try to assist. For their pain, hurt, heartache and views of perceptions are so limited and ignorant of not being taught healthier ways in their emotions, thoughts, and in their life that it makes it very hard to communicate with them when they are so hard core and processed and in tune with their traumas of their life that they can not even help them self or want to see how they deserve a healthier and better quality of life too that it can be exhausting and bankrupting to even try to assist them. For the help that it appears they need in economics, finances or medical assistance is but a cover-up until the individual and those who are assisting can root out the real problem. For pity is only one synonym emotion of sadness. Sadness has made a many people miserable and anger or bitter at their life and those around them. There is no easy solution but unless we in the human race become aware to see the financial bankrupties and problems we have that are based upon emotional issues; nothing will change and nothing will truly progress. Our regression will continue because we have become a people unaware to the logic and rational mindedness of emotional understanding. For what a person is void of emotionally within or understands to seek in a healthier learning - this will become the actions of their void to seek to fill.
Who pays that price? Society? Educational systems? Medical care system? Mental Health Programs? Nonprofit organizations? Homeless shelters? Government financial dependancy programs financed by taxpayers? The bankruptcy of the human race is occurring every day in headlines. This problem does need to be solved in a way that it will teach people how to pick up their boot straps up again through effective healthier learning after their oppressions, depressions and trauma or abuse has occur and produced unhealthiness in their lives. Without it - we will have more effects than just the financial devastations we all will end up experiencing.
Pity often implies a feeling of sorrow that inclines one to help or to show mercy: felt pity for the outcast.
Compassion denotes deep awareness of the suffering of another and the wish to relieve it: "Compassion is not weakness, and concern for the unfortunate is not socialism" (Hubert H. Humphrey).
Sympathy denotes the act of or capacity for sharing in the sorrows or troubles of another: "They had little sympathy to spare for their unfortunate enemies" (William Hickling Prescott).
Empathy is an identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives: Having changed schools several times as a child, I feel empathy for the transfer students.
BRAINWASHING: A method of changing an individual’s attitudes or allegiances through the use of drugs, torture, or psychological techniques; any form of indoctrination. Today application of the phrase has been extended to include less objectionable but more subtle sources of control such as television and advertising.
IN [SOME ONE'S] POCKET: To be under another’s influence or control; to be at the disposal or mercy of someone else.
PLAY BOTH ENDS AGAINST THE MIDDLE: To play two opposing forces off against each other to one’s own advantage.
PLAY FAST AND LOOSE: To connive and finagle ingeniously but inconsiderately to gain one’s end; to say one thing and do another; to manipulate principles, facts, rules, etc., irresponsibly to one’s advantage
The act or practice of manipulating. The state of being manipulated.
Shrewd or devious management, especially for one's own advantage.
Backstairs influence Indirect control, as of an advisor; power to affect the opinions of one in charge. Backstairs refers to the private stairways of palaces, those used by unofficial visitors who had true access to or intimate acquaintance with the inner circles of government. Connotations of deceit and underhandedness were natural extensions of the “indirect” aspect of the backstairs. Examples of this usage are cited as early as the beginning of the 17th century. Today backstairs influence has come to mean the indirect influence or sway that given individuals or groups are able to exert over persons in power.
To be under another’s influence or control; to be at the disposal or mercy of someone else. Dating from the turn of the 19th century, this expression evokes an image of one person being held in the pocket of another, much larger person, and thus conveys feelings of manipulation, insignificance, and helplessness.
PULL STRINGS: To influence or manipulate persons or things secretly to one’s own advantage; used especially in reference to political maneuvering; also to pull wires.
TWIST [SOMEONE] AROUND ONE'S LITTLE FINGER: To have complete control over, to have limitless influence upon, to have at one’s beck and call;
UNDER [SOMEONE'S] THUMB: Under the influence, power, or control of; subordinate, subservient, or subject to
WORK THE ORACLE: To wheel and deal, to scheme to one’s own advantage, especially for money-raising purposes; to engage in artful behind-the-scenes manipulation of those in a position to grant favors.
All cap lock words and information taken from: http://www.thefreedictionary.com.I prefer to use the facts of words and their historical uses. For many medical and scientific or even general information about emotions can be biased, personal information based upon the writer's experts or profressional qualifications and can lead to misguiding information. A dictionary has survived many generations without biased, heritage or social influence. Data compilations of information that presents a broadened horizon of healthier emotional information because it does not limit in scope of definitions. Makes for a healthier, effective and immediate results to apply healthier emotions, thoughts and word use to one's life. Should pity or manipulation approach now maybe you be aware and conscious to new choices and information to share with the individual seeking assistance. The dependancy we can create by genuine nature to assist others to help their lives can be the very bankruptcy or destruction we allowed by helping a person instead of teaching a person how to help them self.
There was occasions where my pity need was supported or comforted from others without tangible materials too. But mostly, my pity came in various actions, decisions and things I choose to do. Pity can be a very hurtful and lonely emotion. Pity can be very manipulative, destructive, isolating and unhealthy as it comes for self and those around you if you are not aware to pity's properties and use pity wisely to prevent destruction - as many seek and do through ignorance. Pity in genuine form can help in a healthy way when someone understands your issues and offers to help without tangible materials, financial dependencies or creating a long term relationship built upon self-pities.
For pity can be a healthy emotion when actively used with logic and rational actions. But pity can also be a declination emotion that not only takes from the resources of others but produces a trail of Chapter 11 Bankruptcy in the human race too.
Pity can leave a person emotionally, mentally, rationally and logically bankrupt and void within. They focus on the past of pity in their life instead of their present healthy potentials. Their views become of narrow scope and are ignorant by the unhealthiness they have experienced or survived in life. It is not trashing people's intellect or their choice of lifestyles or the circumstances that adversely or harshly harmed them - it is just how it is when many victims, survivors and society even pities and segregates individuals of this nature and nurture. Many individuals of adversity will seek externally what they can not find internally to fill the voids of their life that their own self pity produced in them and that social programs, organizations, and even government programs created in them with financial dependencies. I speak sometimes harshly about emotions and the cause and effects of these sensitivities because this person I share frequently of Someone I Use to Know was indeed me.
It is not easy to admit that in being unaware of past times of the hurt, wrong, and impulsive choices I made in my own pity and using the genuine generosities of others to help me through difficult times. But I did and have. This unhealthiness in me was a long era of applying old unhealthy habits on a quest to produce healthier circumstances of my life. But until I started learning about emotions, what they are factually versus personal comfort and discomforts with them, and the data of information they are in the human brain and body versus the ignorance of personalization that tends to occur with one's thoughts and emotions - I felt I was fine at many of my choices. I now know better through learning healthier views, healthier scopes, and healthier information of going back as a novice in my emotions and thoughts that even when my motives to assist, help others and to seek help myself were alot of unhealthiness that hurt others feelings, emotions and finances too. I can not ever repay financially, emotionally or rationally explain the errors of my ways and apologize for my wrongs I have did. I can only share my heartfelt process of learning a new healthier way from an old unhealthy way so perhaps, it can help others to not make the mistakes, errors or bad choices as I have made through the life experiences of healthy traits versus unhealthy behaviors and unhealthy emotions. Never become so stubborn in your ways or views that you go blind and put your self in a corner or others - where you do not have too and can learn how to undo the old processes of negative emotions, unhealthy thoughts and suffer terrible consequences because of it.
Pity is my word of the day. It takes every ounce of awareness, prevention, and learning the factual attributes of pity to be able to stop it. To stop the unhealthiness in people that pity causes but also to cease the ending of a pity supplied society. Pity has made patients out of individuals for too long contributing to the escalating costs of medical care and health care treatments. For pity is the least of spoken emotions and probably the one that is the most misunderstood. For pity can not be spoken to another with out stinging the person who speaks it also through personal reflection. So it will take education, logic and reason to stop the bankruptcy of morality and lawfulness and dependency that pity creates, enables and devastates generation after generation.
I share some enlightening information about the chain of pity and how far it is visibly extends using facts of a dictionary. The most ironic concept I thought about of pity was manipulation to add to its properties as well. For pity in unhealthy individuals and dysfunctions of unhealthy family units - pity is the sword that becomes the weapon used against the healthy individuals or it becomes as a defense for the victims and survivors to pick upon and use a darkening light in their life.
Pity is used as a self-defense mechanism from prying eyes or those who seek to destruct what they perceive their normal behavior to be - when in fact - it is so destructive to all involved that it creates, imbreeds and multiples into generations that know how to manipulate the truth, lies, and facts that it uses pity to gain social acceptance and personal fulfillment. The unhealthiest forms of pity and manipulation used together are used in cases of child abuse, domestic violence, substance abuses and prescription drug abuse. These takers of the human race usually end up in cycles of jail, imprisonment, law charges filed in their records and criminal activity become their way of life by not understanding or being aware to the ignorance of their own unhealthiness learned through nature, nature, surviving, living and experiences all guided and choosen by old unhealthy internal processes.
Individuals of pity are some of the most conflicting individuals to interact with or try to assist. For their pain, hurt, heartache and views of perceptions are so limited and ignorant of not being taught healthier ways in their emotions, thoughts, and in their life that it makes it very hard to communicate with them when they are so hard core and processed and in tune with their traumas of their life that they can not even help them self or want to see how they deserve a healthier and better quality of life too that it can be exhausting and bankrupting to even try to assist them. For the help that it appears they need in economics, finances or medical assistance is but a cover-up until the individual and those who are assisting can root out the real problem. For pity is only one synonym emotion of sadness. Sadness has made a many people miserable and anger or bitter at their life and those around them. There is no easy solution but unless we in the human race become aware to see the financial bankrupties and problems we have that are based upon emotional issues; nothing will change and nothing will truly progress. Our regression will continue because we have become a people unaware to the logic and rational mindedness of emotional understanding. For what a person is void of emotionally within or understands to seek in a healthier learning - this will become the actions of their void to seek to fill.
Who pays that price? Society? Educational systems? Medical care system? Mental Health Programs? Nonprofit organizations? Homeless shelters? Government financial dependancy programs financed by taxpayers? The bankruptcy of the human race is occurring every day in headlines. This problem does need to be solved in a way that it will teach people how to pick up their boot straps up again through effective healthier learning after their oppressions, depressions and trauma or abuse has occur and produced unhealthiness in their lives. Without it - we will have more effects than just the financial devastations we all will end up experiencing.
Pity often implies a feeling of sorrow that inclines one to help or to show mercy: felt pity for the outcast.
Compassion denotes deep awareness of the suffering of another and the wish to relieve it: "Compassion is not weakness, and concern for the unfortunate is not socialism" (Hubert H. Humphrey).
Sympathy denotes the act of or capacity for sharing in the sorrows or troubles of another: "They had little sympathy to spare for their unfortunate enemies" (William Hickling Prescott).
Empathy is an identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives: Having changed schools several times as a child, I feel empathy for the transfer students.
BRAINWASHING: A method of changing an individual’s attitudes or allegiances through the use of drugs, torture, or psychological techniques; any form of indoctrination. Today application of the phrase has been extended to include less objectionable but more subtle sources of control such as television and advertising.
IN [SOME ONE'S] POCKET: To be under another’s influence or control; to be at the disposal or mercy of someone else.
PLAY BOTH ENDS AGAINST THE MIDDLE: To play two opposing forces off against each other to one’s own advantage.
PLAY FAST AND LOOSE: To connive and finagle ingeniously but inconsiderately to gain one’s end; to say one thing and do another; to manipulate principles, facts, rules, etc., irresponsibly to one’s advantage
The act or practice of manipulating. The state of being manipulated.
Shrewd or devious management, especially for one's own advantage.
Backstairs influence Indirect control, as of an advisor; power to affect the opinions of one in charge. Backstairs refers to the private stairways of palaces, those used by unofficial visitors who had true access to or intimate acquaintance with the inner circles of government. Connotations of deceit and underhandedness were natural extensions of the “indirect” aspect of the backstairs. Examples of this usage are cited as early as the beginning of the 17th century. Today backstairs influence has come to mean the indirect influence or sway that given individuals or groups are able to exert over persons in power.
To be under another’s influence or control; to be at the disposal or mercy of someone else. Dating from the turn of the 19th century, this expression evokes an image of one person being held in the pocket of another, much larger person, and thus conveys feelings of manipulation, insignificance, and helplessness.
PULL STRINGS: To influence or manipulate persons or things secretly to one’s own advantage; used especially in reference to political maneuvering; also to pull wires.
TWIST [SOMEONE] AROUND ONE'S LITTLE FINGER: To have complete control over, to have limitless influence upon, to have at one’s beck and call;
UNDER [SOMEONE'S] THUMB: Under the influence, power, or control of; subordinate, subservient, or subject to
WORK THE ORACLE: To wheel and deal, to scheme to one’s own advantage, especially for money-raising purposes; to engage in artful behind-the-scenes manipulation of those in a position to grant favors.
All cap lock words and information taken from: http://www.thefreedictionary.com.I prefer to use the facts of words and their historical uses. For many medical and scientific or even general information about emotions can be biased, personal information based upon the writer's experts or profressional qualifications and can lead to misguiding information. A dictionary has survived many generations without biased, heritage or social influence. Data compilations of information that presents a broadened horizon of healthier emotional information because it does not limit in scope of definitions. Makes for a healthier, effective and immediate results to apply healthier emotions, thoughts and word use to one's life. Should pity or manipulation approach now maybe you be aware and conscious to new choices and information to share with the individual seeking assistance. The dependancy we can create by genuine nature to assist others to help their lives can be the very bankruptcy or destruction we allowed by helping a person instead of teaching a person how to help them self.
Monday, December 16, 2013
The Silent Suffering of Neglect
Neglect is not a word that most would intentionally not seek to understand from a logical or reasoning comprehension of. For in all honesty, at first glance, there is really no explanation that could justify neglect or abuse of a child.
But to fully capture the wide and individualized meanings of neglect and how to understand neglect in your own life and in the lives of others - one must learn the facts of neglect to form a non-biased or non-judgmental view to grasp the facts of neglect and how neglect lives and survives.
The holiday seasons is a very good time to learn about neglect. Sounds absurd I know and I do understand anyone who disagrees with my idea better than they are able to understand my important need to share this.
It is those things that we fail to speak, fail to discuss, or are too painful to talk about or understand that allows neglect to grow, produce damage and live in the life of millions of victims and survivors today. I perceive neglect and its effects as an epidemic that lives in every community, every organization, every profession and in every occupation and school system. Neglect is a civil threat that poisons the lives of every individual in the human race and the generations they will produce tomorrow.
Neglect is alive and well and healthier than we as people are in general. For neglect can occur every day in every word we speak, every action we give, or anything we do. Neglect is not just for the criminal abusers or the convicts who are serving time when they have sought hurt or committed crimes upon others. But neglect occurs even in the lawful and moral people.
When we fail to speak our errors, admit our mistakes and apologize while seeking a healthier change - we too - are the enablers and ignorantly blissful in the neglect of pain and the reality that occurs because we fail to admit our neglect to others and our self.
Most parents or caregivers are probably the most ignorant and stubbornly convicted in their individual minds that they never neglect their children or our youth or our elderly or disabled. They are the reason neglect lives on and continues on with each generation taking the lives of the once innocent with it.
The social tragedies and individual tragedies created by neglect is the most devastating effect of any civilization of human beings. The human race suffers in every aspect of life by the effects done by neglect.
A healthier change has to exist in each person to become aware of neglect. To become aware of neglect - one must be not be afraid to become aware. They too are an enabler or carrier of this silent disease of neglect. The choices we made or make, the actions we speak, the examples we give are of neglect or to stop neglect. Through nature and nurture we learn to witness and see the examples of effects of neglect directly. Their ways will become our healthy or unhealthy operations to our own life that will become our choices - if we do not seek change.
Human beings have a wonderful intellect, mental, emotional, psychological and physical layout to work with through our genetics and uniqueness of experiences that hold value for the human race in the direction we can go or what we regress too.
For we each are a puzzle piece that belongs and links up to complete the human race. Our contributions are as important as the most elite of our kind. Many will disallow such thinking because if we all thought this way - imagine the possibilities?
The child of poverty that grows up to become the President of the United States to service the human race to stop human crimes upon one another because their knowledge offers insight into a problem that only experience can know how to stop it. The criminal who makes a healthy change after prison to seek a law or official degree that changes the world of criminal profiling because we would have the factual tools of the origin of one criminal who possess the psychological profiling of finding out what a criminal is and this criminal chose to put humility aside to grow humble knowledge and healthier skills instead to give back to the service of growing our human race and no longer hurting it. Sounds extreme I know. But imagine just the same.
The teenager that suffered several generations of teen mothers in her genetic linkage due to culture of lifestyle she grew up in. She chose not to become the family tradition but sought further education to become a child advocate for other children of oppressions and depressions to teach them emotional, moral and lawfulness that she never got but choose to seek a healthier change in her own individual life to make it happen.
Imagine if adults would say I am sorry and seek to change in their actions to rebuild or gain a trust that was broken because of the neglect they had done to another in their life.
Someone I Use to Know believed that change was possible for anyone who wanted it strongly enough. Healthy versus unhealthy. Positive versus Negative. Happy versus Sad. Anger versus humility of learning. Apologize versus Hate.
This dreamer's world and beliefs were my own of Someone I Use to Know and still are. The only difference now and then is that I am gaining the peacefulness and healthiness inside that I sought to create for others that I never could because I did not know how to produce this in myself so my efforts for naught for others. It is not dissing myself or the efforts I made as they were with the best of intentions but it is admitting that I was a Peter Principle of my own intentions, motives, and actions too. For one person I would help, it would neglectfully hurt another.
I do still live with this motto of dreaming now. In my life experiences I have seen those who reach higher and keep pulling their self up by their boot straps and those who simply refuse too or can not or will not.
Even with the skills, tools and giving someone more options to solve their problems - only they can choose to use them for self - when or if - they are able. When they are truly not able - then we must be strong enough, wise enough, compassionate enough and brave enough for them to be the pioneers of the future to help them to help them selves in ways that they can and offer assistance to them what they can not do.
I guess it is truly to each their own learning and how to use new tools. I personally know every day the healthy benefits I am obtaining and feeling because my efforts to learn and apply daily what I am gaining in my life.
If efforts were a visual million dollar bill that could be handed out - every one would stand in line to get theirs. But when it comes to invisible or intangible healthy productions in the human body, brain, emotions and thoughts - it is not quite so simple to do and understand a journey that belongs only to those who choose, commit, and dedicate time to growing what they did not know but wanted to.
When a person has a question to ask and no one can answer them - then how can they answer that question that may solve their problem? When society can not answer - when professionals can not answer - when family or friends or partners or any person answer can not answer that which you need to know to solve your problems - sometimes - you have to admit and accept that you do not know everything and you may just have to pick up a new tool for your self and learn how to do it.
Without learning and educating and gaining new tools or skills to live and survive life - you live as you were and become just as you choose to be based upon the old processes you accept that leads to ignorantly bliss or self destruction. A life of cycling internally within of your emotions, thoughts and actions that can not and never will be solved because you didn't realize or weren't aware that sometimes the bootstraps you need to pick your self up and go on - are within you to learn how to change; not just externally.
Please read about the facts of neglect as this was my word of the day.
The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA Reauthorization Act of 2010) defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:
"Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or an act of failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm."
Neglect is the failure of a parent, guardian,
or other caregiver to provide for a child’s
basic needs. Neglect may be:
Physical (e.g., failure to provide necessary
food or shelter, or lack of appropriate
supervision)
Medical (e.g., failure to provide necessary
medical or mental health treatment)
Educational (e.g., failure to educate a
child or attend to special education
needs)
Emotional (e.g., inattention to a child’s
emotional needs, failure to provide
psychological care, or permitting the
child to use alcohol or other drugs)
Sexual abuse includes activities by a
parent or caregiver such as fondling a child’s
genitals, penetration, incest, rape, sodomy,
indecent exposure, and exploitation
through prostitution or the production of
pornographic materials.
Sexual abuse is defined by CAPTA as “the
employment, use, persuasion, inducement,
enticement, or coercion of any child to
engage in, or assist any other person to
engage in, any sexually explicit conduct
or simulation of such conduct for the
purpose of producing a visual depiction
of such conduct; or the rape, and in cases
of caretaker or inter-familial relationships,
statutory rape, molestation, prostitution,
or other form of sexual exploitation of
children, or incest with children.”
Emotional abuse (or psychological abuse) is a pattern of behavior that impairs a child’s
emotional development or sense of self-worth. This may include constant criticism,
threats, or rejection, as well as withholding love, support, or guidance. Emotional abuse
is often difficult to prove, and therefore,child protective services may not be able
to intervene without evidence of harm or mental injury to the child. Emotional abuse
is almost always present when other types of maltreatment are identified.
Abandonment is now defined in many States as a form of neglect. In general, a child is considered to be abandoned when the parent’s identity or whereabouts are
unknown, the child has been left alone in circumstances where the child suffers
serious harm, or the parent has failed to maintain contact with the child or provide
reasonable support for a specified period of time. Some States have enacted laws—often
called safe haven laws—that provide safe places for parents to relinquish newborn
infants.
Substance abuse is an element of the definition of child abuse or neglect in many
States. Circumstances that are considered abuse or neglect in some States include the
following:
Prenatal exposure of a child to harm due to the mother’s use of an illegal drug or other substance
Manufacture of methamphetamine in the presence of a child
Selling, distributing, or giving illegal drugs or alcohol to a child
Use of a controlled substance by a caregiver that impairs the caregiver’s ability to adequately care for the child.
Signs and Symptoms of a Child The Child:
Shows sudden changes in behavior or school performance
Has not received help for physical or medical problems brought to the parents’ attention
Has learning problems (or difficulty concentrating) that cannot be attributed
to specific physical or psychological causes
Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen
Lacks adult supervision
Is overly compliant, passive, or withdrawn
Comes to school or other activities early, stays late, and does not want to go home
Is reluctant to be around a particular person
Discloses maltreatment
The Parent:
Denies the existence of—or blames the child for—the child’s problems in school or at home
Asks teachers or other caregivers to use harsh physical discipline if the child misbehaves
Sees the child as entirely bad, worthless, or burdensome
Demands a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve
Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, and satisfaction of the parent’s emotional needs
Shows little concern for the child
Now that you have read about neglect - go back to each. Ask yourself - what was done to you in your life that made you feel neglected personally? Now, analyze yourself - what have you done to others or your own children or the youth of your life that could have left them feeling neglected by the choices or examples that you made? Something to think about how we are all have given neglect as much as we have received neglect - isn't it? What are you going to do to learn how to change neglect in your life and those that you have neglected? -
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/whatiscan.pdf#page=2&view=How%20Is%20Child%20Abuse%20and%20Neglect%20Defined%20in%20Federal%20Law?
But to fully capture the wide and individualized meanings of neglect and how to understand neglect in your own life and in the lives of others - one must learn the facts of neglect to form a non-biased or non-judgmental view to grasp the facts of neglect and how neglect lives and survives.
The holiday seasons is a very good time to learn about neglect. Sounds absurd I know and I do understand anyone who disagrees with my idea better than they are able to understand my important need to share this.
It is those things that we fail to speak, fail to discuss, or are too painful to talk about or understand that allows neglect to grow, produce damage and live in the life of millions of victims and survivors today. I perceive neglect and its effects as an epidemic that lives in every community, every organization, every profession and in every occupation and school system. Neglect is a civil threat that poisons the lives of every individual in the human race and the generations they will produce tomorrow.
Neglect is alive and well and healthier than we as people are in general. For neglect can occur every day in every word we speak, every action we give, or anything we do. Neglect is not just for the criminal abusers or the convicts who are serving time when they have sought hurt or committed crimes upon others. But neglect occurs even in the lawful and moral people.
When we fail to speak our errors, admit our mistakes and apologize while seeking a healthier change - we too - are the enablers and ignorantly blissful in the neglect of pain and the reality that occurs because we fail to admit our neglect to others and our self.
Most parents or caregivers are probably the most ignorant and stubbornly convicted in their individual minds that they never neglect their children or our youth or our elderly or disabled. They are the reason neglect lives on and continues on with each generation taking the lives of the once innocent with it.
The social tragedies and individual tragedies created by neglect is the most devastating effect of any civilization of human beings. The human race suffers in every aspect of life by the effects done by neglect.
A healthier change has to exist in each person to become aware of neglect. To become aware of neglect - one must be not be afraid to become aware. They too are an enabler or carrier of this silent disease of neglect. The choices we made or make, the actions we speak, the examples we give are of neglect or to stop neglect. Through nature and nurture we learn to witness and see the examples of effects of neglect directly. Their ways will become our healthy or unhealthy operations to our own life that will become our choices - if we do not seek change.
Human beings have a wonderful intellect, mental, emotional, psychological and physical layout to work with through our genetics and uniqueness of experiences that hold value for the human race in the direction we can go or what we regress too.
For we each are a puzzle piece that belongs and links up to complete the human race. Our contributions are as important as the most elite of our kind. Many will disallow such thinking because if we all thought this way - imagine the possibilities?
The child of poverty that grows up to become the President of the United States to service the human race to stop human crimes upon one another because their knowledge offers insight into a problem that only experience can know how to stop it. The criminal who makes a healthy change after prison to seek a law or official degree that changes the world of criminal profiling because we would have the factual tools of the origin of one criminal who possess the psychological profiling of finding out what a criminal is and this criminal chose to put humility aside to grow humble knowledge and healthier skills instead to give back to the service of growing our human race and no longer hurting it. Sounds extreme I know. But imagine just the same.
The teenager that suffered several generations of teen mothers in her genetic linkage due to culture of lifestyle she grew up in. She chose not to become the family tradition but sought further education to become a child advocate for other children of oppressions and depressions to teach them emotional, moral and lawfulness that she never got but choose to seek a healthier change in her own individual life to make it happen.
Imagine if adults would say I am sorry and seek to change in their actions to rebuild or gain a trust that was broken because of the neglect they had done to another in their life.
Someone I Use to Know believed that change was possible for anyone who wanted it strongly enough. Healthy versus unhealthy. Positive versus Negative. Happy versus Sad. Anger versus humility of learning. Apologize versus Hate.
This dreamer's world and beliefs were my own of Someone I Use to Know and still are. The only difference now and then is that I am gaining the peacefulness and healthiness inside that I sought to create for others that I never could because I did not know how to produce this in myself so my efforts for naught for others. It is not dissing myself or the efforts I made as they were with the best of intentions but it is admitting that I was a Peter Principle of my own intentions, motives, and actions too. For one person I would help, it would neglectfully hurt another.
I do still live with this motto of dreaming now. In my life experiences I have seen those who reach higher and keep pulling their self up by their boot straps and those who simply refuse too or can not or will not.
Even with the skills, tools and giving someone more options to solve their problems - only they can choose to use them for self - when or if - they are able. When they are truly not able - then we must be strong enough, wise enough, compassionate enough and brave enough for them to be the pioneers of the future to help them to help them selves in ways that they can and offer assistance to them what they can not do.
I guess it is truly to each their own learning and how to use new tools. I personally know every day the healthy benefits I am obtaining and feeling because my efforts to learn and apply daily what I am gaining in my life.
If efforts were a visual million dollar bill that could be handed out - every one would stand in line to get theirs. But when it comes to invisible or intangible healthy productions in the human body, brain, emotions and thoughts - it is not quite so simple to do and understand a journey that belongs only to those who choose, commit, and dedicate time to growing what they did not know but wanted to.
When a person has a question to ask and no one can answer them - then how can they answer that question that may solve their problem? When society can not answer - when professionals can not answer - when family or friends or partners or any person answer can not answer that which you need to know to solve your problems - sometimes - you have to admit and accept that you do not know everything and you may just have to pick up a new tool for your self and learn how to do it.
Without learning and educating and gaining new tools or skills to live and survive life - you live as you were and become just as you choose to be based upon the old processes you accept that leads to ignorantly bliss or self destruction. A life of cycling internally within of your emotions, thoughts and actions that can not and never will be solved because you didn't realize or weren't aware that sometimes the bootstraps you need to pick your self up and go on - are within you to learn how to change; not just externally.
Please read about the facts of neglect as this was my word of the day.
The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA Reauthorization Act of 2010) defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:
"Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or an act of failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm."
Neglect is the failure of a parent, guardian,
or other caregiver to provide for a child’s
basic needs. Neglect may be:
Physical (e.g., failure to provide necessary
food or shelter, or lack of appropriate
supervision)
Medical (e.g., failure to provide necessary
medical or mental health treatment)
Educational (e.g., failure to educate a
child or attend to special education
needs)
Emotional (e.g., inattention to a child’s
emotional needs, failure to provide
psychological care, or permitting the
child to use alcohol or other drugs)
Sexual abuse includes activities by a
parent or caregiver such as fondling a child’s
genitals, penetration, incest, rape, sodomy,
indecent exposure, and exploitation
through prostitution or the production of
pornographic materials.
Sexual abuse is defined by CAPTA as “the
employment, use, persuasion, inducement,
enticement, or coercion of any child to
engage in, or assist any other person to
engage in, any sexually explicit conduct
or simulation of such conduct for the
purpose of producing a visual depiction
of such conduct; or the rape, and in cases
of caretaker or inter-familial relationships,
statutory rape, molestation, prostitution,
or other form of sexual exploitation of
children, or incest with children.”
Emotional abuse (or psychological abuse) is a pattern of behavior that impairs a child’s
emotional development or sense of self-worth. This may include constant criticism,
threats, or rejection, as well as withholding love, support, or guidance. Emotional abuse
is often difficult to prove, and therefore,child protective services may not be able
to intervene without evidence of harm or mental injury to the child. Emotional abuse
is almost always present when other types of maltreatment are identified.
Abandonment is now defined in many States as a form of neglect. In general, a child is considered to be abandoned when the parent’s identity or whereabouts are
unknown, the child has been left alone in circumstances where the child suffers
serious harm, or the parent has failed to maintain contact with the child or provide
reasonable support for a specified period of time. Some States have enacted laws—often
called safe haven laws—that provide safe places for parents to relinquish newborn
infants.
Substance abuse is an element of the definition of child abuse or neglect in many
States. Circumstances that are considered abuse or neglect in some States include the
following:
Prenatal exposure of a child to harm due to the mother’s use of an illegal drug or other substance
Manufacture of methamphetamine in the presence of a child
Selling, distributing, or giving illegal drugs or alcohol to a child
Use of a controlled substance by a caregiver that impairs the caregiver’s ability to adequately care for the child.
Signs and Symptoms of a Child The Child:
Shows sudden changes in behavior or school performance
Has not received help for physical or medical problems brought to the parents’ attention
Has learning problems (or difficulty concentrating) that cannot be attributed
to specific physical or psychological causes
Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen
Lacks adult supervision
Is overly compliant, passive, or withdrawn
Comes to school or other activities early, stays late, and does not want to go home
Is reluctant to be around a particular person
Discloses maltreatment
The Parent:
Denies the existence of—or blames the child for—the child’s problems in school or at home
Asks teachers or other caregivers to use harsh physical discipline if the child misbehaves
Sees the child as entirely bad, worthless, or burdensome
Demands a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve
Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, and satisfaction of the parent’s emotional needs
Shows little concern for the child
Now that you have read about neglect - go back to each. Ask yourself - what was done to you in your life that made you feel neglected personally? Now, analyze yourself - what have you done to others or your own children or the youth of your life that could have left them feeling neglected by the choices or examples that you made? Something to think about how we are all have given neglect as much as we have received neglect - isn't it? What are you going to do to learn how to change neglect in your life and those that you have neglected? -
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/whatiscan.pdf#page=2&view=How%20Is%20Child%20Abuse%20and%20Neglect%20Defined%20in%20Federal%20Law?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)