The Holiday Stress of Insecurity

My daily learning word and emotional understanding of the day is insecurity. Not sure, certain or doubtful. Unguarded or unsafe or neglected. Lacking self-confidence; plagued by anxiety.

Sounds like a Christmas Carol song gone wrong, don't it? Makes one thinks of all the emotions and financial worries that Christmas and Holiday seasons can stress upon a person. Loved ones passed on that are missed. Family or friends that one misses that you can not visit or afford to spend money for gifts on Christmas. Wondering if that gift is good enough or will be appreciated or even if someone will care enough about you to gift you this holiday season.

Yes, the word of the holiday stress all comes down to insecurity in some way of fact. Tainting the emotions. Reminding one of how life changes before we are really aware and conscious that change - sometimes, good or bad; positive or negative; healthy or unhealthy has occurred.

A Person I Use to Know focused daily on the strong words of: truth, lies, positive, and negative more than any other word. For when pain increases enough in your life, even if - occurring such a time long go - as in a death of loved one while one is still enduring childhood or the adverse effects of child abuse or even divorce or anything that leaves one feeling less in their life because of shocking changes - these were the words I think that tend to become the staple of one's life or at least in the Person I Use to Know.

There was no fact or fiction. Others were viewed strictly as positive or negative. There was only truth or lies. There was no middle ground unless consent to amends or make peace was the objective in every relationship, friendship, or family ship this person did. OH - how ignorance does play and makes a comfortable, stable and yet insecure fools of us all - does it not?

Think about it. When applying and using words to observe our life - our actions and those immediately in our lives - we describe usually with judging, assumptions and speculations before we really participate actively.

It is easier to criticize the person that does something in actions than getting up the will or personal motivation to do it our self. We find it easier to do so much unhealthiness in our lives, our internal psyche and with out our emotional engaging in a healthier manner - that the cause and effect of our own lives leaves no one to blame but our self in many of our choices and ignorance as the primary foundation on which each self-esteem, emotions, and thoughts are built upon.

A Person I Use to Know, of course, is myself. For if you haven't read enough of this blog - you may have missed the summary of this blog. But I can also say through my experience of others too - that ignorance is the simplicity that does make life blissful in a sense. At first interpretation of words like: insecurity and ignorance - most will reject both of these words immediately.

The will view in their mirror that insecurity and ignorance does not apply to them. How dare anyone describe or judge them as such? But think about it.

Why would anyone want to intentionally apply these dark, specified words to them self? For sometimes, the solutions, answers, and resolutions we seek in our life are through these dark words, dark circumstances, darkening circumstances and the choices we make that contribute to our darkness of unhealthiness and in others who are in our lives.

How many have been done wrong by others in their life? Probably at least once by every one you meet or know. They know the sting that comes from friendships that crumble or falter due to personal differences, financial status that once was that is no more and even the impulsive choices that lead to irresponsible damages that ends up in divorce court or family court debating over child support and arguing over child supervision and even the simple stuff - like teens or children not being friends anymore because of life circumstances or lifestyle cultures where a parent feels another child and their home environment is not safe for their child or teenager to be around anymore.

Now - in these same circumstances and the many more that can occur when you start counting how much you have been hurt or felt insecure by a friendship, relationship or family - how many times can you honestly say that you did indeed hurt them as well? How many times did you use your words as weapons? You would say hurtful things to them and knew it would get them upset; but you did it anyways? How many times have you left them feeling insecure, alone, neglected and even used?

Yes, it's very easy to dodge, avoid, and ignorantly continue in unhealthiness through life. Perhaps, it is the simplest way in many regards. If you blame, excuse and pardon yourself - then it becomes every one's responsibility or accountability for your faults, choices and bad decisions you made that affected others.

If we asked our self the hard or difficult questions that we expect or almost demand of others to answer for us - we could attempt to gain a sense of healthier security by realizing - that 9 our of 10 times - it was not only them and what they did but also how we individually perceive and interpret and engage in life with others too. It was our reactions or inabilities to healthy approach our own life that we did as much to others as anyone ever done to us.

I am not saying that we all are victims or all are survivors - but in a sense - we create and enable that on which we know, get comfortable within our self and act upon our knowledge, our experiences or circumstances we know directly.

Ignorance is the enabler of many crimes, hurt, pain, and insecurities of unhealthiness that we all secretly share. The notions of: "Normal" or "Perfection" or "Expert" is not factual about human beings or even about anyone in the human race.

For to be normal - it means we have to have standards that detail the internal and external specifications of a human being that describe, detail and medically or scientifically explain what "Normal" is. Since the human brain is one of the greatest mysteries of the human body - "Normal" - can not be factually stated to describe humans or their lives. To say otherwise is ignorance. There is only healthy or unhealthy functions in operation of the human brain or body - not "Normal."

"Perfection" is a social culture acceptance as fact and nothing more. The perfect hair, the perfect aligned symmetrical face or external attributes that gives proportion to the human body. The perfect perceived life where money is plentiful to afford life's greatest luxuries and necessities. It is easier to seek a perfection or attempt to create "Perfection" than it is to admit, accept and realize that "Perfection" is the most damaging and unhealthiness concept that individuals have introduced into the social civilization of cultures.

"Expert" is a word that we have allowed to make us feel less than efficient and demoralizing to all human beings. For every "Expert" there is out there; there is also a Peter Principle of that "Expertise" field as well.

To factually apply the words we use - we must know the synonyms and factual definitions of their many meanings and descriptions versus that in which we have only been taught through social accepting cultures or our own limited experiences.

Psychology and Philosophy are broad topics that discuss a science and medicine that goes beneath the skin of a human being and visual appearance. It makes for enlightening reading and gives a greater compassion and understanding to self and others. I call it healthy reading and healthy learning.

For ignorance is alive, well and even healthier in a sense - than any of us are actually and factually. It's not to say that we are all dumb but it is to say that we miss the opportunities waiting upon us because we do not value the potential in our self to gain healthiness and produce unhealthiness by ignorance that will always plaque any civilization presenting new problems and issues to be resolved. But until we all get our heads out of our thoughts and broaden our brain cells and body for the health they could be obtained - I guess - we will never know what we could be capable of in our lives and the world around us.

I am finding a new healthiness and new peacefulness by learning this adolescent and elementary education  that I have appointed myself upon. For when you go to and fro for decades, paying experts in the medical and scientific field who really have no clue on solving your medical conditions for you - other than a quick fix of a talk therapy, alternative therapy methods or prescription medications; it can be expensive and very bleak.

For if an expert, does not educate and stay on top of their own game of learning in the profession of their choice - they will become a Peter Principle and as ignorant as the rest of us. For their answers, will come from an old outdated book of guidelines or procedures that are not always a one size fits all.

I do understand why many in medical despair for incurable diseases would seek alternative methods or even new research that is not always ethical to help save their lives. Even if these patients on death's door have to break the law to obtain another day of their life - I understand and empathize why they do it - even if, it's not always lawful. But I guess, until we reach those moments or situations or circumstances in life that leave us with despair to our life - one can never know why people choose to do what they do.

But as I am finding my own enlightening in learning about emotions and the informational role they contribute in life versus the shield of defense or verbal offense - most use them for - including me prior to all of this - I am gaining a new healthiness that I could achieve no other way. I share hoping to enlighten others. We each are truly more alike than we realize.

It is easy to get visually pleased by the genetics of another or celebrate the fun, laughter, and smiles in them and the happiness they give us. But behind every exterior of a human being there is a living, breathing, thinking and emotional machine operating beneath the skin. I guess until we can each learn this or the world of science and medical catch up to the rate of destruction to remedy that we do to each other - life will continue in the chaos of stresses, self-deprivations, ignorance and most of us; self-esteem issues and the unhealthy harm we do to each other - even if only in words and our lack to know how to use them.

I have stated for a long time that even our primary vocabulary in the English language could use an upgrade. Not to change what words mean but to broaden the possibilities of their meanings and direct application in human lives and perhaps, even help more people to help them self when the holiday stress of insecurity gets to them or just merely to take something bad and flip it not to be so worse or something positive and make it super effective.

Time is the only entity we all have to spend every single day. Time is the one value of fact that affects each of us directly in our daily life. Time is the only thing we can truly control by how we choose to spend it daily.

Perhaps, the next time, you find yourself in a frump or in a darkened state of your own silent thoughts or tearful emotions - you will realize - it is only as temporary as you want it to be or the gloom will stay as long as you focus on it. Many will read this and have no clue of relation of what I write - but for the many more - who do - this is for them.

Skeptics come in all genders, ages, and financial status. Economics of our lives play a role in the experiences of our life. Someone who has a stable, financial secure, comforted or supported life could not imagine the obstacles that a life without these valuables will endure in healthy and unhealthy regards. But for the millions who knew the hard road - I hope my sharing will help you somehow find your way back to the light of your life and allow you strength to pick yourself up when the world knocks you down or you feel that you are too insecure to keep on trying and moving forward.

For no matter what anyone can say or do to you in your life - you are the unhealthiness or healthiness that you choose to be and how you deal, cope and live through it. May all of us find more appreciation, gratefulness, humbleness and even humility can be healthy in tolerable doses to help us accept that we are all imperfectly human - just as the next person is.

Maybe we can get one day closer to finding the solutions we need and one more day closer to being thankful that we too have the choose to keep learning, stopping the unhealthiness that comes from being our own worst skeptic and if we believe enough within our self to never give up then no one can deny us our personal and individual beliefs and motivations either.

Instead of focusing on what you do not have or will not get or who you lost in grief this holiday season - be happy - that you have another holiday to see. For some one out there; is fighting to see one more date upon their calendar. If this doesn't do it for you - I could not enlighten you no matter what I write, express or creatively produce anyways.

Choose a daily Happy Holiday and make it happen. Most of the time, the only person that can ever make you feel insecure or stressed - is yourself anyways.