Interesting day of vocabulary and emotional learning indeed. The word of the day is Homesickness. Unreal - how this word immediately pops into the mind creating various meanings or definitions limited by one's own experience of personal interpretations and self perceptions of what one has lived or survived.
I constantly reflect upon my 3 3/4 decades of my own experiences, past perceptions and personal interpretations that I have experienced that leave me older than merely 37 years old.
For the Person I Use to Know in my own self is changing and evolving every day in this new learning and broadening of my own interpretations and perceptions that I suppose only new knowledge or new effective skill application could give a person - next to the experiences of life's lessons of trial, errors, hits and misses do in teaching us.
Homesickness was a very dark, hidden and unknown fact within me - all my life - that I failed to realize or acknowledge and honestly - I lacked the skills to become aware of the healthy and unhealthy attributes of this emotion that plaqued me most of my life.
Sadness or grief and homesickness do run together through out our lives being hand and hand in to us - that we are not aware of - even though - at any given turn, holiday or object reminder - there they comes the reminder or triggers of homesickness again.
Perhaps, enlightening others as I have been enlightened in learning of this silent but yet generational contagious disease of homesickness can help others to better understand their life to attempt to gain a healthier place within one's self or even perhaps, how they can stop this silent, contagious generational disease of their life too.
Children or teenagers who grow up in homes with out active, healthy and participating role models know the levels and effects of Homesickness more than any one.
The neglect experienced by an inactive father or working mother where work comes before family time - contributes to a child's low self-esteem or constant battling within that makes them feel less of a person because their father isn't in their life or their mother is too busy to help them grow and experience life. Or all a child hears is detrimental and degrading talk of their other parent cause the child support check was late from that lazy, invaluable S-O-B or perhaps, even how a teacher at school is too nosy and should keep their mouth off of the lifestyle of unhealthy parents who subject their children to the vicious addictive life of: illegal drugs, alcoholism or obesity. Think about it.
Envy exists in life and gets born from an idea that a person feels less of a human because someone else has something they want or desire to own or lack to experience life as others do. Envy allows children to be fearful or even boastful because their parents or guardians raise them that those people over there are no good or threatening somehow to their place or function in the world or they don't mingle with those of lower financial standards as they. Divisions occur alot of times to protect one's self and their families from other's that could potentially seek to do them harm. But to a child- they do not know this nor can they possibly understand why they are indeed different than others or why they are treated differently but they learn from all of us. Little children view others for the way life could be or potentially could be. The homesickness they feel internally because they are different than social acceptance or social tolerance treats them weighs like an anchor that devours their light or hope and focus to find their own enlightenment that usually most will continue in the seeking to cure their own homesickness that they do not even know they have or even how to fulfill a homesickness they are never taught. Even most adults would not try to perceive homesickness in them self as a disease given to them from their own unfulfilling childhood too.
Most individuals become shaped to adulthood by those first years of what they hear, see, taste, touch, and smell. These 5 senses will be used as tools later in life but for those earliest of years until independence sets in - it is by direct impact and the cause and effect of witnessing the examples around them.
Home should be a place where a minor feels safe, secure, loved, appreciated, valued and able to grow into the individual they want to be by their own passions, compassion and with out fear from being humane to others and to be positive contributors to society when they grow up.
But for too many millions - homes of our youth - was oppressions, deprivations, unhealthy, and neglect. Even in financially comfortable and stable homes, imperfections and deprivation to a child's emotional, mental, psychological, logical and rational well-being did not exist. For circumstances or heritages of biased gave way to precedence and a parent's or role model's own goals, desires, and wants for their child took more importance than that of spending time with a child. Talking to their child and helping their child to become aware of life and the world around them but not being fearful or having low self-esteem just because someone else couldn't understand them or refused to learn how to accept others different as they.
I do believe that homesickness is a saddening contagious disease that afflicts too many. For it can be used to motivate others to positively and try to change as healthy as they can from their own unhealthiness they experienced as a youth - for many more - the cycle of homesickness continues.
To not feel worthy enough. To feel too fearful to try. To be anxious produced by hurtful biased verbal or physical experiences that one survived or simply to be numb to keep running away from the homesickness that lies dormant within but is solo responsible for every cause and effect that an adult will do, achieve, or regress to be when they grow up.
Acceptance is what it comes down too. Very few can be comfortable, feel supported, feel content or even happy in the solo corners, emotions, thoughts and actions of their life. They rely on others to create a home or a feeling of belonging with and too. That very few will give healthy assessment to the potential positives that can be gained when self-seeking acceptance of admittance about our own homesickness that exists within each of us.
Children or teens that lose a parent, loved one or adult role model in their life through premature shocks of death or suicide of a guardian experience some of the harshest forms of homesickness that I can only imagine the grief and void they learn to feel early on.
I stayed bitter, angered,hurt, grief and frustrated for decades because of the abuse, neglect, religious ritual abuse of harmful brain washing done to me by the abusers of my life who followed their heritage and biased as their way and I would have given anything to be free including death taking my abusers to stop my own pain, hurt and make the trauma end. But even in the years of cycling abuse- these manipulators - though vicious and inhumane actions - did teach me alot of how to do things for myself and not being fearful of their world around me and seeking my own motivation to do what ever necessary not to be like them as they were. So even in the cursing experiences of my life I choose to stay focused past my own crippling pain to keep me moving forward and always have. I have now learned to let the bitterness, anger, pain, grief and heartache of fantasies and misplaced hope pass on from me since accepting my own unhealthy role of running and wanting to belong so bad to their acceptance standards that I realized the facts. That they would never choose to learn healthy nor did they want any part of it. For their comfort, support, and their ways of life were of a different moral code than mine. Whether by ignorance, heritage or biased of their own running or seeking acceptance from the homesickness of their own lives - I can not say why they chose to continue to abuse, deprive, and neglect not only me when I was a child - but why their parents did this to them. It's not mine to worry or analyze over and never was. For my journey to healthiness or unhealthiness and defining of home and homesickness began when I became a legal age adult. My learning of effective skills is up to no one but I and that means being factual about my own deficiencies and ignorance too. That's a hard one to bite when it was just easier to blame and make excuses instead. Though, I have erred along the way - my heart of motives was always in the right place and for the right reasons. I think that's why I am always able to fall down and keep getting right back up. Because I refuse to settle or accept anything that isn't of positive or healthier nature. The most healthiest admittance I have made about my health issues is the faults of my own that I contributed to my life of ignorance too and lacking effective and healthy emotions.
Now back to homesickness - I know why I have done and did all I have through learning of my cause and effect and even acceptance and admit how I have contributed to my own unhealthiness due to ignorance of my own biased perceptions and interpretations too of life.
Homesickness is a generational disease. For children or teens who feel they had no one to help them learn or teach them safety and protection that life could be or how a child or teen feels lost when a role model dies and that they can not go on with their lives or dreams and never were encouraged to know that they deserve to continue on with their live even after death of a loved one.
America should be a community to all from where I stand and sit and to a degree have always thought and believed in. That when parents fail, teachers should be able to assist in teaching that of which we as parents are ignorant of, and that world can be taught and viewed as a comfort, support, encouragement, and hope to motivate that helps all achieve and obtain their dreams.
But instead, America is loaded with a pile of home sickened people by the origins of their nature and nurture that many more than naught - spend their whole adults silently running from a disease that has faltered them creating unhealthiness examples and actions that only create this taint disease to spread even upon our own children. For the elite of our society, we praise and excel to their level of competencies until they become Peter Principles. Then we view below to those in poverty or harmful environments and teach them they will be no better than what their parents were or falsely labeling in the same class of genre that we steal, rob, and damage their hopes before they can even learn how to rise above it and why learning new skills, information, and healthier ways of life can be obtained for even them who are the most socially misunderstood. We are a vicious, hurtful, and damaging nation America to the morale of all citizens.
Our economy and even financial difficulties this country is experiencing details how diseased we all are. How misunderstood we are about each other and how many find it easier not to even care as long as it doesn't impact their safe, protected, biased and isolated environment or livelihood - it is just no one's problem to solve right?
Learning to accept the homesickness of your life or those you have produced upon your children and offspring can help us begin to stop this silent disease that does impact and hinder us all. Face those personal close minded perceptions and interpretations. Challenge your own self to better understand your own life and the good and bad of it and the contributions you made in good or bad too. Homesickness is more than an environment we grew in from our youth but it is also the humanity and adulthood choices we make now and for our own children. Here are healthy coping skills to consider when analyzing a Person You Use to Know in yourself. You have nothing to lose but a few minutes to make time to read about it and perhaps, even a new life appreciation and gratefulness for your self and the life you have now to guide you into the future too. Learning can not hurt any body and can only help us when we realize that we are more ignorant than we care to admit. It's human nature and rationalization that teaches us in social acceptance that ignorances is ok. But when you are alone - solo and in the silence of your own thoughts; how bad does it hurt? How horrible does it feel? How dark is it? How light is it? Perhaps, learning could help you after all.
Ways of coping - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homesickness
The most effective way of coping with homesickness is mixed and layered. Mixed coping is that which involves both primary goals (changing circumstances) and secondary goals (adjusting to circumstances). Layered coping is that which involves more than one method. This kind of sophisticated coping is learned through experience, such as brief periods away from home without parents. As an example of mixed and layered coping, one study[28] revealed the following method-goal combinations to be the most frequent and effective ways boys and girls:
Doing something fun (observable method) to forget about being homesick (secondary goal)
Thinking positively and feel grateful (unobservable method) to feel better (secondary goal)
Simply changing feelings and attitudes (unobservable method) to be happy (secondary goal)
Reframing time (unobservable method) in order to perceive the time away as shorter (secondary goal)
Renewing a connection with home, through letter writing (observable method) to feel closer to home (secondary goal)
Talking with someone (observable method) who could provide support and help me make new friends(primary goal)
Sometimes, people will engage in wishful thinking, attempt to arrange a shorter stay or (rarely) break rules or act violently in order to be sent home. These ways of coping are rarely effective and can produce unintended negative side effects.
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