Someone I Use to Know hated to feel pity - but at times, would accept the emotion to feel my own pity in life to seek help to solve my problems that I usually created through ignorance, bad choices and impulsive decisions that left me and others financially or economically impaired.
There was occasions where my pity need was supported or comforted from others without tangible materials too. But mostly, my pity came in various actions, decisions and things I choose to do. Pity can be a very hurtful and lonely emotion. Pity can be very manipulative, destructive, isolating and unhealthy as it comes for self and those around you if you are not aware to pity's properties and use pity wisely to prevent destruction - as many seek and do through ignorance. Pity in genuine form can help in a healthy way when someone understands your issues and offers to help without tangible materials, financial dependencies or creating a long term relationship built upon self-pities.
For pity can be a healthy emotion when actively used with logic and rational actions. But pity can also be a declination emotion that not only takes from the resources of others but produces a trail of Chapter 11 Bankruptcy in the human race too.
Pity can leave a person emotionally, mentally, rationally and logically bankrupt and void within. They focus on the past of pity in their life instead of their present healthy potentials. Their views become of narrow scope and are ignorant by the unhealthiness they have experienced or survived in life. It is not trashing people's intellect or their choice of lifestyles or the circumstances that adversely or harshly harmed them - it is just how it is when many victims, survivors and society even pities and segregates individuals of this nature and nurture. Many individuals of adversity will seek externally what they can not find internally to fill the voids of their life that their own self pity produced in them and that social programs, organizations, and even government programs created in them with financial dependencies. I speak sometimes harshly about emotions and the cause and effects of these sensitivities because this person I share frequently of Someone I Use to Know was indeed me.
It is not easy to admit that in being unaware of past times of the hurt, wrong, and impulsive choices I made in my own pity and using the genuine generosities of others to help me through difficult times. But I did and have. This unhealthiness in me was a long era of applying old unhealthy habits on a quest to produce healthier circumstances of my life. But until I started learning about emotions, what they are factually versus personal comfort and discomforts with them, and the data of information they are in the human brain and body versus the ignorance of personalization that tends to occur with one's thoughts and emotions - I felt I was fine at many of my choices. I now know better through learning healthier views, healthier scopes, and healthier information of going back as a novice in my emotions and thoughts that even when my motives to assist, help others and to seek help myself were alot of unhealthiness that hurt others feelings, emotions and finances too. I can not ever repay financially, emotionally or rationally explain the errors of my ways and apologize for my wrongs I have did. I can only share my heartfelt process of learning a new healthier way from an old unhealthy way so perhaps, it can help others to not make the mistakes, errors or bad choices as I have made through the life experiences of healthy traits versus unhealthy behaviors and unhealthy emotions. Never become so stubborn in your ways or views that you go blind and put your self in a corner or others - where you do not have too and can learn how to undo the old processes of negative emotions, unhealthy thoughts and suffer terrible consequences because of it.
Pity is my word of the day. It takes every ounce of awareness, prevention, and learning the factual attributes of pity to be able to stop it. To stop the unhealthiness in people that pity causes but also to cease the ending of a pity supplied society. Pity has made patients out of individuals for too long contributing to the escalating costs of medical care and health care treatments. For pity is the least of spoken emotions and probably the one that is the most misunderstood. For pity can not be spoken to another with out stinging the person who speaks it also through personal reflection. So it will take education, logic and reason to stop the bankruptcy of morality and lawfulness and dependency that pity creates, enables and devastates generation after generation.
I share some enlightening information about the chain of pity and how far it is visibly extends using facts of a dictionary. The most ironic concept I thought about of pity was manipulation to add to its properties as well. For pity in unhealthy individuals and dysfunctions of unhealthy family units - pity is the sword that becomes the weapon used against the healthy individuals or it becomes as a defense for the victims and survivors to pick upon and use a darkening light in their life.
Pity is used as a self-defense mechanism from prying eyes or those who seek to destruct what they perceive their normal behavior to be - when in fact - it is so destructive to all involved that it creates, imbreeds and multiples into generations that know how to manipulate the truth, lies, and facts that it uses pity to gain social acceptance and personal fulfillment. The unhealthiest forms of pity and manipulation used together are used in cases of child abuse, domestic violence, substance abuses and prescription drug abuse. These takers of the human race usually end up in cycles of jail, imprisonment, law charges filed in their records and criminal activity become their way of life by not understanding or being aware to the ignorance of their own unhealthiness learned through nature, nature, surviving, living and experiences all guided and choosen by old unhealthy internal processes.
Individuals of pity are some of the most conflicting individuals to interact with or try to assist. For their pain, hurt, heartache and views of perceptions are so limited and ignorant of not being taught healthier ways in their emotions, thoughts, and in their life that it makes it very hard to communicate with them when they are so hard core and processed and in tune with their traumas of their life that they can not even help them self or want to see how they deserve a healthier and better quality of life too that it can be exhausting and bankrupting to even try to assist them. For the help that it appears they need in economics, finances or medical assistance is but a cover-up until the individual and those who are assisting can root out the real problem. For pity is only one synonym emotion of sadness. Sadness has made a many people miserable and anger or bitter at their life and those around them. There is no easy solution but unless we in the human race become aware to see the financial bankrupties and problems we have that are based upon emotional issues; nothing will change and nothing will truly progress. Our regression will continue because we have become a people unaware to the logic and rational mindedness of emotional understanding. For what a person is void of emotionally within or understands to seek in a healthier learning - this will become the actions of their void to seek to fill.
Who pays that price? Society? Educational systems? Medical care system? Mental Health Programs? Nonprofit organizations? Homeless shelters? Government financial dependancy programs financed by taxpayers? The bankruptcy of the human race is occurring every day in headlines. This problem does need to be solved in a way that it will teach people how to pick up their boot straps up again through effective healthier learning after their oppressions, depressions and trauma or abuse has occur and produced unhealthiness in their lives. Without it - we will have more effects than just the financial devastations we all will end up experiencing.
Pity often implies a feeling of sorrow that inclines one to help or to show mercy: felt pity for the outcast.
Compassion denotes deep awareness of the suffering of another and the wish to relieve it: "Compassion is not weakness, and concern for the unfortunate is not socialism" (Hubert H. Humphrey).
Sympathy denotes the act of or capacity for sharing in the sorrows or troubles of another: "They had little sympathy to spare for their unfortunate enemies" (William Hickling Prescott).
Empathy is an identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives: Having changed schools several times as a child, I feel empathy for the transfer students.
BRAINWASHING: A method of changing an individual’s attitudes or allegiances through the use of drugs, torture, or psychological techniques; any form of indoctrination. Today application of the phrase has been extended to include less objectionable but more subtle sources of control such as television and advertising.
IN [SOME ONE'S] POCKET: To be under another’s influence or control; to be at the disposal or mercy of someone else.
PLAY BOTH ENDS AGAINST THE MIDDLE: To play two opposing forces off against each other to one’s own advantage.
PLAY FAST AND LOOSE: To connive and finagle ingeniously but inconsiderately to gain one’s end; to say one thing and do another; to manipulate principles, facts, rules, etc., irresponsibly to one’s advantage
The act or practice of manipulating. The state of being manipulated.
Shrewd or devious management, especially for one's own advantage.
Backstairs influence Indirect control, as of an advisor; power to affect the opinions of one in charge. Backstairs refers to the private stairways of palaces, those used by unofficial visitors who had true access to or intimate acquaintance with the inner circles of government. Connotations of deceit and underhandedness were natural extensions of the “indirect” aspect of the backstairs. Examples of this usage are cited as early as the beginning of the 17th century. Today backstairs influence has come to mean the indirect influence or sway that given individuals or groups are able to exert over persons in power.
To be under another’s influence or control; to be at the disposal or mercy of someone else. Dating from the turn of the 19th century, this expression evokes an image of one person being held in the pocket of another, much larger person, and thus conveys feelings of manipulation, insignificance, and helplessness.
PULL STRINGS: To influence or manipulate persons or things secretly to one’s own advantage; used especially in reference to political maneuvering; also to pull wires.
TWIST [SOMEONE] AROUND ONE'S LITTLE FINGER: To have complete control over, to have limitless influence upon, to have at one’s beck and call;
UNDER [SOMEONE'S] THUMB: Under the influence, power, or control of; subordinate, subservient, or subject to
WORK THE ORACLE: To wheel and deal, to scheme to one’s own advantage, especially for money-raising purposes; to engage in artful behind-the-scenes manipulation of those in a position to grant favors.
All cap lock words and information taken from: http://www.thefreedictionary.com.I prefer to use the facts of words and their historical uses. For many medical and scientific or even general information about emotions can be biased, personal information based upon the writer's experts or profressional qualifications and can lead to misguiding information. A dictionary has survived many generations without biased, heritage or social influence. Data compilations of information that presents a broadened horizon of healthier emotional information because it does not limit in scope of definitions. Makes for a healthier, effective and immediate results to apply healthier emotions, thoughts and word use to one's life. Should pity or manipulation approach now maybe you be aware and conscious to new choices and information to share with the individual seeking assistance. The dependancy we can create by genuine nature to assist others to help their lives can be the very bankruptcy or destruction we allowed by helping a person instead of teaching a person how to help them self.
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