Chasing an Illusion of Normal

A Person I Use to Know charismatically enticed their own mental thoughts and adolescent emotional hardships by thinking of the day that their life could be different than it was. That one day, they could seek, find and obtain normal - like every one else. 

Then this person matured, got experience of unhealthiness and healthiness under their wings and realized that by trying to live their life in chasing normal - they only found that normal did not exist!

Normal was the largest fantasy they ever forced their self to believe - in order to survive. This Person I Use to Know was me. 

How many other felt the self-betrayal of believing in some thing or some one and then you gain experience or evidence presents itself and you find out how your beliefs in something was not real, factual or tangible anyways? I feel this way about the word and use of Normal. It can not exist and does not exist. To think so - produces unhealthiness. I'll explain to give pondering thoughts.

I know many other like me who grew up like I did in a different economical class and socially acceptable atmosphere than what is present of today's culture. Poverty was visually announced without a word - back in my day. Middle class was evident by Middle class visuals and locations of geography. Rich were rich in their own segregated and usually gated communities. 

Has anything  really changed nowadays for us? Yes it has! 

Would you believe me if I told you that those of who witnessed and survived the 30 years ago of social standards that we have actually declined even more so now than back then! 

The poverty and Middle Class of working Americans are now in a silent merger of geography and economical visuals that is evident to the economical shifts and where our tax dollars of funding have really gone. 

A person does not have to be ashamed nowadays to be poor. For the American government will give you a check, free food, free medical, pay for your housing, pay for your electrical expenses, give you a free education with free transportation and a free cell phone to use if you choose too stay poor and be proud. You will be socially accepted because you appear Normal with all of your tax payer funded entities. Your visual representaitions of Normal are no different than that of someone who works a full-time job who has to leave their families and children behind to afford a life for them while you can be your children and family because someone else is paying your way with programs that create a dependancy of poverty that you enjoy. 

The Middle Class working Americans are now being given some of these free entities because their wages do not simply pay enough to support their families in the necessities and luxuries that it once did. So what once was a socially well defined normal is now being the outcasts in a sense and taking the hard working Middle Class Americans with them.

In working today on my new words of discontentment and learning dysphoria - I am enlightened and learning to apply new concepts to old words or new words I learn to help me move forward in a healthier way of personal perception of my emotional engagement with others and primarily myself. Even in the dark content of subject matter - I feel in peace. Because I know that my unhealthy or healthy choices are for my benefits to personal life. No understanding or approval of others is needed for me to achieve this. Only my beliefs and dedication to persistence to learning what others would discredit as a waste of time or resources when indeed - it increases quality of time and healthy attributes.

To be one's own enemy is exhausting and wasting precious energy in the body, brain and systems and I refuse to do that to myself anymore and advise anyone else who does this to stop it and learn new skills to quit this unhealthiness.  I am having to learn new skills to obtain something quite simple at first glance but sometimes - with so much unhealthiness in one's life - it does take new skills to gain healthiness.

No one says anything negative about a person who strives to achieve a healthier exterior and appearance. But when someone mentions they are learning to gain a new healthier inner core existence then the looks go blank or the feedback of speculation begin.  

I admit that if it were anyone else but me wanting this and I heard it in general conversation - I'd be a skeptic too honestly. But if it works, it can not be stupid or a waste of time is all I am saying. 

Which leaves me to share points of validity of awareness that I learned today in my personal motivation to learn about my 5 senses healthy modifications with emotional healthiness. I hope by sharing this it will entice others to consider healthy as an option and as a conscious choice in your life for your core too. The self-rewards are the best gift you can choose to do for yourself and enjoy your own life growing in depth and peace too.

The word discontentment and dysphoria were of familiar use to me. I have experienced both in my life. I will share an enlightening perhaps awareness to two words that strike a chord of discomfort to many as usually these lessons at first glance do to me until I learn new awareness about them and apply it in a healthy way that does work effectively for me.

Who is to say with out exact medical or scientific proof exactly what Dysphoria is in another individual? By definition, dysphoria is an abnormal depression or discontentment. 

Symptoms by definition are a diagnostic tool for medical conditions. Symptoms are also a sign or indication of disorder or disease, when experienced by an individual as a change from "normal" function, sensation or experience.

Patients become aware of sensing when something is not right. Personal observations of witnessing behaviors or characteristics in personalities from an individual's "normal" and opinions - with or without facts of tangible proof in requesting someone to seek professional or medical help happens every day to some body out there forever altering and changing their life.

But what if Dysphoria is not caused by a factual tangible medical or scientific proof but really created and produced by one's inabilities to choose a healthier lifestyle?

Could the blame game or excuse trains we occasionally find our self upon or in the company of discontented people really be enabled by our own personal choices of unhealthy lifestyles or unhealthy misconceptions of self?

Unhealthy lifestyles. Unhealthy associations. Unhealthy fantasies or beliefs of a "Normal" life or "Normal" person that does not exist nor ever did. A great lie told and upheld by the formally educated narcissistic personalities of vane individuals who possess the authority of social manipulations upon others to conform to the socially acceptable standards created by fantasy believers of a "Normal" that never existed nor does.

Divorce, relationship problems, and family units through out history have detailed and even documented the economical shifts of Census data of how our cores of socialization with those closest to us at one point in our life has disintegrated or dissolved from what we once we loved into a separation based upon a primary healthy or unhealthy facts versus fictions of our lives.

Who is qualified to say Dysphoria is abnormal or supreme depression is real except the person who believes this to be true or factual in self? Who is qualified to judge another's need to create change in life? Who really evaluates the origins of facts - not opinions - not fantasy - but factual, tangible evidence? Who can really say that perhaps Dysphoria is only a direct result of healthy and unhealthy choices they made in their life as a solo contributor to this disheartening emotion? Who can say?

In learning new skills for my own personal healthiness - I see an invisible line being socially drawn that does indeed divide - separate - and quarantine individuals who disbelieve in the fantasy of illusion of "normal."

I have heard the conversations of biased - heritage and geographical differences that produce assumptions and speculations about others who are different than they are. 

I have sensed the sickening taste in my mouth and smelled the foul in the air from the ignorant - demoralization and psychopathic words used by others just so they can have topics of conversational engagement to communicate verbally in.

These types of ineffective verbal exchanges were never more evident to me than when working as a professional and in seeking my own medical treatments for my conditions. 

These socially acceptable and economical manipulation practices of social divisions are enforced by health care plan coverages and commerce exchanges. These are clear indicators of the immaturite - destructive and unhealthiness windows that peers into the lives of those who factually display the unhealthy in them by the content of their conversations and baseless topics of talk so they can talk. These psychopathic behaviors are accepted socially as long as one is submissive and compliant to the unhealthy civilization we live and share in nowadays. 

I feel relief in writing and sharing my awareness of these social unhealthiness issues. For I realize - it is not only me and was not only me - that feels these things to be factual and truthful of their lives too.

Geography of residential areas, quality of homes, and community entities give visual validity to what I share of "Normal" standards of social acceptance. Each area clearly defined of social values in the quality of education given in new, nice and visually appealing schools with the latest technological advancements versus the schools where students have to share books and supplies from lack of equal funding. Or the hospitalization or low care cost clinics that serves communities. The doctors who will only treat the private health insurance clients versus the doctors who will only treat the Medicaid/Medicare or state and government health insurance patients who use these programs for their medical treatments.

A divided unhealthy and unequal aspects of all life represented in what I have shared. Each defined individually and accepted for their "Normal" that they appear to be in with their geographical culture defined by what their "Normal" is. Their lives and communities represent their externals of factual healthy or unhealthiness.

The trail of defining, owning, capitalizing and economical survivals come down to awareness and having effective tools that can be applied to gain healthy or unhealthiness by the choices each individual does. Not a "Normal" - Not "Fake" - Not "Fronting". Healthy or Unhealthy.

A personal mission of setting healthy or unhealthy objectives with realistic plans to achieve this. To each is their own tools and awareness perception. To increase healthiness or decrease it. To decrease healthy or increase it.

It simply appears that many would rather individually choose to follow the unhealthiness than to take the time to gain healthier skills to effectively manage, control and work to stop the origins of their problems and solve them. 

It's easier to seek fast solutions or quick escapes from fantasy beliefs than to simply deny a normal that majority says exist - when indeed - normal and the chase for it - will always produce unhealthy results that continue to decline economical, financial, and geographical communities while producing immorality of unhealthiness to individuals. Until we learn that normal takes away from individuality, innovation, and is a negative detriment to our social ways of life - individual detriments will increase and society will continue to decline.