Individual Interpretation of Gloom Recedes Darkness or Produces Light

Individual Interpretation of Gloom Recedes Darkness or Produces Light

A Person I Use to Know would sporadically and hysterically throw the biggest tearful fits of crying while giving vocal audio of muffled and barely comprehensible verbal absurdities of an individual emotional overload - as if the sky was falling.

Every day, the sky would be falling in gloom about something - it was always about something or some one that did something to her or triggers of seizures or PTSD in her life. 

If someone said a comment to her that she did not like - then it was automatically flipped into something more of personal assumption than the factual case of the words spoken.

It didn't matter to her - if facts could be presented for it was still the fault of others to blame and nothing was ever because of her good or her bad contributions in her mind. But it was every one else that tripped her up emotionally.

She unhealthy interacted with others and her own psyche for years as the same old and only that she knew - every thing became either a really sweet slice of cake from interactions with others or it became the poison introduced in her blood, veins and emotions that were every one's else fault but her own.

Geography was to blame. Economics was to blame. Finances were to blame. Cause and effect were to blame. But it was never actions and choices she had done that were to blame.

This person of gloom I speak about of A Person Used to Know was yours truly.

The verbal spoken health about a human being can speak an introduction of falseness and create immediate bias about a person before we even take the time or allow time to reveal their actions of character to us.

It is easier to stay away or not allow ourselves the experiences of others - who are different than us - to enter our lives of comfort, safety, stability and luxuries. It is more difficult and harder to allow ourselves to be susceptible by those who are different that us or open our self up for new knowledge we could potentially gain from the experiences about a life different than our own.

I guess - since we are all our own individual experts anyways - why allow anyone else to question the genius in ourselves right?

Comfort, stability, and safe protected lives is what most of us want. What most of us hope to achieve. What most go to work every day for. To achieve, accomplish and enjoy invisible walls around them that will allow no other but those of their kindred kind in.

It's just easier. Though these lives of personal desires and fulfill do not really produce logical and rational sense - but most would believe it to be as so - and live as so.

Experience is the foundation stitch that binds the threads of knowledge together.

To know the origin or creation of a problem is to learn how to eradicate the problem by knowing and learning the root of it. Learning how it grew. Then learning new ways or new skills to stop the devastation that prevent effective resolution.

To stop the harm, hurt, painful and constant isolation of separate unities created by a one track mind or one track lifestyle - if you will. These invisible walls we build around us - not only will actually hinder our lives -  but they can make us as unhealthy as anything we will ever be subjected to externally. It is unhealthy to live in a bubble that many of us choose to create and stay into.

Our thoughts will become a bubble. Our interpretations are of the same ingredients we have always known. Our emotions are handled in the same way they always been. We accept our self and verbally display and try to defend giving validity to who we are and in being true to our self by living in the bubbles of our creations - we deny our self growth.

We squander in the gloom of our submissions of the bubble life we merely accept. Putting off the social problems and issues that affect us all by waiting upon the next generation to figure it out or the next brave soul with strength or some one who lacks conformity to come along to save us all.
The next election will do it. The next CEO will do it. The next President will make it all better. Wrong.

The bubble that bursts from the highest of anarchy to the lowest of dysfunction will break us all. Spewing its once invisible ingredients upon all of us. The afflictions that once was only their demographic creation will become the contagious disease that spreads to every one. This once contained gloom will now become the gloom that affects someone you know or someone you knew or even now, a reality in your own once secured bubble.

Gloom is a funny word to me now but not long ago of the Person I Use to Know - it was not.

I find it a funny word and emotion now through learning. For gloom when used in a Reasonable context versus Emotional description to give a name to its once first glance of desolate and voided future emotional content where light or faith can not be seen.

Gloom is an emotion of like being in a train tunnel. You can not see the end of the tunnel. You can not see the steps you have taken behind you. So you might as well just sit there in the horror of your own nightmares and replay continually the same old repeated, broken, unhealthy and destructive cycle as you always have.

It's just easier to do this than feeling for the side of the walls or listening to the depths of the darkness to see if you can hear a bird or rustle of leaves to escape this dark tunnel of gloom - isn't it?

Gloom inspired me to write a poem today. For gloom, can be funny. It's knowing the factual values of information with new skills about emotions in a reasonable and logical entity versus the rippling tears or impulsiveness to react that makes an emotion healthy or unhealthy.

So in writing - I am tweaking all my emotions I learn as a new way to view, perceive and exercise modification of my 5 senses in a healthier manner and even give self acceptance and admittance about my own unhealthy internal practices.

I no longer want to simply claim ignorance as a way of life about anything about myself anymore. I don't want to simply live in my own bubble anymore.

I do not want to be a stranger to myself anymore because I fear or am anxious about admitting the depths of my heart and life to myself. I want and deserve to know myself completely as my own best friend as we all do.

I don't want the most sensitive things of myself to be as a stranger anymore. I don't want to be a stranger to others either. I want to be a healthy example for myself that lives life without these human brain and body internals of mere instinct creating only a survival's unhealthy baggage.

These new emotional learning skills and 5 senses modification are giving that to me so I can be the healthier person internally that I know I can learn to be.

Individual Interpretation of Gloom Recedes Darkness or Produces Light
Oh the Gloom that rains down in the presence of these seconds of trickling darkness,
A visual that sends valid shivers to the spine.
The taste and smell of utter grief is all that can be described,
The gut wrenching and twisting knots to confirm how nothing is or ever was fine.

The willingness to just sit in this visual filth and grotesque mental and emotional shadow of self,
seemed easier to do at the moment,
crying tears of regret, guilt, and shame of a fault that was only personal blame.

By why?
Why did cause and effect of a few choices,
reveal and bare a revelation of true identity?

Why must life be as this?
Why does life continually knock one down - pick one up and knock a person around,
giving ingredients of amenity along the way -
that make the final destination obsolete of serenity?

I choose gloom. Give me my place of murkiness.
Let me squander time away in the loathsome of my creations in my own mind.
Let my emotions take me as hostage to grind.
If I do not care to believe in light or faith,
Why do you dare to try to trespass upon my stalling choice and acceptance of barren fate?

As the dawn peered through the window;
warming rays of sunshine upon her face.
She opened her lethargic eyes bewildered of this dream dialogue.

She had experienced, all within;
gazing around her to be aware of her factual place.

How bizarre she thougth of this personal conversation she whispered in dream -
too intense not to be real-
too unique to ever share-
too misconstrued it did seem.

As she flipped her body to the left side to keep the blinding sun,
out of her eyes;
She could only wonder what this dream of questions and answers meant.

"Oh well! " she verbally stated;
sitting up to put her feet on the floor.
" Didn't matter!" she chuckled;
for work obligations was now daily calling.
She decided she would just venture on as she has always went.

In closing with final thoughts ~
As you were or as you are,
will surely individually determine,
if it'll be enough to take you through life far.

To disrepute one truth or one fact in self is to disallow all validity in self. You can not be a team player in life or an effective leader unless you know and accept the deficiencies or unhealthiness of all qualities and entities in self too.

Just as snakes visually shed their outer layers of skins to allow for new healthy growth and remove harmful parasites of their old skin. Humans do have these abilities to do the same with new knowledge and new healthy skills to achieve the same effective and beneficial qualities internally in self too. To believe a snake sheds for health is to believe that humans and the nature and nurture of our life's circumstances can be shed too.

Snakes are genetically predisposed to this shedding of skin to gain a new healthy. For humans, our internal thoughts, emotions, personal perceptions and individual genetic nature and nurture give way to much of what we are or who we become.

The familiar we know. The experiences we live. The tragedies and traumas we survive that are produced by the unhealthiest of our Homo sapien species. Physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, or geography are all contributors in our analysis of self by what we define as healthy or unhealthy. Or we merely allow a professional who learned new skills to diagnosis us instead.

Just as a snake sheds the unhealthy of its skin - to a degree - human beings can create a healthier internal atmosphere within self too. Especially after external afflictions or stimuli has sought to invade or produce harm within someone.

If snakes can literally shed their unhealthiness through their skins, then why is it so inconceivable that humans could learn new healthier skills to replenish an unhealthy internal dwelling and achieve a healthier effective atmosphere too. An atmosphere of the human brain and body not to just survive in but to live in a new quality of life after the fact of adverse health conditions or external circumstances done to us adversely?