Have you ever noticed that? How many times do you listen to another person just waiting at the chance for their silence so you respond to what they say? How abruptly do we answer with not getting the full intent or delivery of the message? Is this human nature and instinct to defend and offend all at the same time by listening and interacting with others? Perhaps - but who knows?
I think there are many people who have more to say -but feel that no one will listen - so they reserve their response to silence instead or simply choose to give short answers to keep from inviting others inward to seeing, knowing and feeling who they really are.
A Person I Use to Know was very articulate at this. Listening to what others say. Feeling their emotions. Seeing the messages as it unfolded off of their lips. Hearing the tones and pitches of their vocals begging for someone to hear them and tell them verbally what they wanted to hear instead of the sometimes & difficult truth they need to hear versus the sugar coating of what a person responds too instead.
That person was me. For many years, it took alot of personal gut following, courage, bravery, and even perceived insanity at times - to verbally speak a truth that they wanted to hear instead of the sugar coated compassion or empathy they were use to me giving.
It's a two fold consequence either way. The person who listens with empathy and gives empathy enables many of the problems that others are seeking and verbally begging for solutions. While the opposite side of that fold is that when you sense their want to find a solution listening to them and you give them a solution or options - they do not want no part of it.
I don't know why it has to be that. That if a person changes from their negative interactions of empathy that solves nothing into a more analytical and logical response giver that it leads to many burned bridges that can never be built again or to a constant tension filled environment that it leaves a person no options - but to avoid the conflict or completely delete individuals who refuse to solve their own problems.
Negativity produces negativity. Positivity takes work, efforts, resources and motivation to make happen. Positive effects can not come when empathy surpasses logical compassion with tools for a user to use to fix their problems and only if they wish for them to be solved.
I am sure many know that Person You Use to Know in yourself too and these scenarios as this.
Those people that say that you have changed in a negative way - but in reality - it wasn't about a negative from you that you have done - but it is really about you not serving their negativity purposes anyone because you no longer will be cooperative in accepting their negative life choices anymore. Ironic how that works out isn't it? There's a million ways to say it and many quotes out there that define this. But it's true no matter how you look at it.
I firmly believe that if any one is a friend or family in your life - that you can verbally and emotionally resolve problems by facing them accepting them and finding new ways to solve any problems that come along.
I know, it's controversial information coming from a person that announces the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Bipolar and seizure disorders I have. These conditions I have of medical science that clearly states these very same internal confrontations of medically controlling the chemical processes of my brain and body while trying to manage my own complex symptoms. Yeah, I sound like some kind of expert from resolution & problem solving don't I?
But the key to my medical conditions are not what I can do mentally or physically to stop these erratic chemical fuels of my medical conditions but to the control my own personal output as much as I can with these types of complex medical symptoms they produce in my life.
It's about accepting these medical complexities within of the internal flows of the chemical and electrical releases in my brain and body and seeking understanding for the explainable triggers of my conditions.
Accepting them. Respecting them. Not purposely seeking or doing more harm to myself than what has already medically internal has been done and to decrease those problems of symptoms as much as possible.
It does not stop the internal chaos of chemical processing or electrical instability that goes in my body and brain but it does decrease the chances of taking something medically bad and making it worse.I get to live and I get to survive! Who could ask for more? Plus it fits the storyline profile of what I am writing about too. If your internal health betrays you and you can not stop it - you still must make a peace with it or the medical condition will conquer you and your life.
Not a permanent fix but a tolerable, manageable, respectful control of resolution that allows me to live daily and to function to the best of my abilities every day.
The same can be said of interactions with others. Taking what we can accept. Working to create a tolerable resolution to the things we can not accept. And at the end of the day, hoping that you did enough and the other will compromise and meet you half-way to keep a friend or family kinship alive and prospering instead of repeated harmful, hurtful and the pains of regret that leads a life into regression instead of progression. Learning to do new things no matter how difficult the problem maybe.
I don't beat myself up internally anymore with harmful internal dialogues of wishing I would have said this or done that. I just do it or say it now.
I accept what I do. I accept what I do not do. I take full responsibility in the conversations I have or the communications I use to interact with others. For the receiver of any message is always open for interpretation and understanding and where more than 1 is gathered in conversation - it will always take 2 for the messages we give verbally or in writing to be understood, received, and accepted.
It's taken me half my life to feel confident in myself to stand up and speak for me. But it's the best resolution mentally, logically, rationally, and medically I have done and am still learning to do.
The tone and pitch of one's voice - as well as their eyes and facial expressions will tell you a truth about them before their mouths even open to speak their words. If we reached out to listen to others with our senses to decipher what they say before we speak in return, perhaps, the resolution or solution they seek is already given to them by the soul of what their eyes reveal - without us saying a word of Yeah, you should do this or Nay, you should not do that.
We take for granted the 5 senses we have and the potential of asset that they can be in our life. When you are over consumed in the 5 senses like PTSD does - you do notice differently and in depth from others. You see, hear, taste, touch, and speak with a profound charge of life that it will literally destroy you or it will help you to keep rising up and above beyond what we should be medically or even is scientifically possible.
Perhaps, if we could all share the internal layering of one another - then we could all gain a new perspective or viewing of a more positive life with effective solutions that would conquer the problems.
But since that is not possible, seeking to understand, accept and being brave in our self is all we have anyways.
Do not ever let anyone tell you that you are wrong when the burning intuition in your heart is stronger than the objections you receive. To do so - not only will burn a fire in you of what you were meant to be doing but it maybe the only fire you ever have to depend on to survive this life and learn how to live past anything that ever happens to you.
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