DBT - Emotion's Best Friend

So what does each person do with all these emotions - when emotions start to feel as an enemy instead of a friend? Come on now, I am not the only one who has felt betrayed, anger, upset, hurt, and conflicted by emotions. If I am the only one - some one else is lying ~ is all I can say.

You know what I am talking about. The anger that boils your blood & races your heart 'cause someone said or did something that irritated the sanity out of you. Or someone did something to hurt you beyond repair. Their words literally cut you to the core of your soul. Your tears become the bleeding side effect. 

The first instinct is to say: "I don't care anymore." Phil Collins sums up perfectly in his song. I blare this song more than I should. I don't have to speak when I am emotionally conflicted because there are songs that do it for me & that works perfectly.

People so frequently misinterpret each other's words anyways. So what does it matter that no one asks for clarification to better understand what you say. What does it really matter that others get what you say or understand how you feel? Life continues to go on in the messy and chaotic disarray of emotional swing shifts anyways. Perpetrated by our own mental thoughts or emotional evaluations or neglect to evaluate our emotions - is more like it. 

The truth that we feel inside is not always right & it's not always wrong. But it's still nice when we when land those people who share the common bond of our emotional attachements or listen when we speak. They enjoy the same joys as we do or same focus and goals. 

The real common bond of people these days are so out of touch with reality or necessities of the  basic core components of emotions that honestly - emotions are the least of appreciation or respect that we give with others or think about how they feel or listen to what they say. 

I guarantee you that the general consensus would be that most people feel emotionally void by those closest to them in their life. Most people who are honest about their life are unhappy - unfulfilled - undirected and almost choreographed instead of happy in their daily lives, functions and roles. SO what do you do to make your emotions your best friend. 'Cause let's be real - our emotions - are our only best friend. In this world we enter alone and in the end - we go out alone. Emotions are the only consistent power or weakness we will ever have and the only truthful and loyalty we will be given.

We can create an internal enemy or an internal loyal, faithful, and honest friend by the way we view & improve or destruct our emotions. We do not need anyone to tell us that our anger is not validated or that our tears & pain is not real. Only each of us can define and understand why we feel like we do & if we ever let any one take that emotional connection from our self - we have lost our individuality anyways.

Dialectal Behavioral Therapy has become my emotion's best friend. This teacher is helping me to accept things I can not about my emotions and helping me to change the perception I have. The emotions I want to keep and how I currently deal with them and then changing what I do not like about my emtoins and how I define, manage, control and interact to embrace my emotions. It's not easy and is very time consuming but worth it. Do you know how many emotions a person has?

I am sure many would view emotions as something we do - that does not need further analysis or evaluation. We are just fine like we are - right? 

Everyone stubbornly says: "This is who I am. You deal with it 'cause the problem is yours and not mine. Accept all of me or none of me." - I completely disagree.

As time builds experiences behind me - I am aware of the long, drawn out soap box and soap opera I have lived in and survived. I feel the physical pains and irritations every day. I hear the medical symptoms of my life produced by many things beyond my control. I hear constantly from those around me that I am not "That Person They Use to Know"; & this female is slipping away because of I do this differently now or don't do this at all anymore.

But everyone points at me - feels compelled to tell me how I should be or should not be. When all the while - they forget that I am my own person, capable of doing what I have for me and always have. They'll never get that I don't believe in a straight line of life. I believe that life is a roller coaster that is to be accepted, appreciated, embraced, learnt from and to never quit learning and adapting those new lessons of skills that one gains. I am a minority on this & none more important than emotions.

I can not relate to people of conformity or people that front life as if their illusion they give - depends on their life. Because something always happens in a person's life that changes everything usually for the worst and not for the better. 

A person must be adaptable and strong and even brave - to learn new skills to cope to thrive, survive, and to live again when these horrific things happen. Usually, many can live out a ripe old biological age without medical intervention or medical issues. But when the time comes that medical hits their life - it can literally make or break them.

So how do so many survive when faced with adversity? They either learn new skills to cope and move on in a positive manner. Or like many other - they succumb their life to their own devices to making their life worse than trying the unknown to make it better.

DBT has taught me to be really proud of myself. To appreciate who I am. To stand up vocally for myself & others who need some one to be their vocals. To hang onto my emotions & change them when it's helpful to me. More than anything, DBT has taught me that sometimes - people will not understand & you have to be forgiving to them. You have to use discretion of who is worth your tears of pain or anger that they cause you & get rid of those who are taking more emotionally from you than you receive of positive from them.

I have been in company of so many manipulators, liars, thieves, criminals, hypocrites and wrong doers in my life - that it is a miracle that I have never been committed nor on prescriptions medications that tell when to think or meds that keep me zoned out of my emotional feelings or honestly - incarcerated as a felon yet. 

The odds of my life have truly been far more against me that I would land in one of these three destinations than not because too many before me have reached these destinations and the odds are extreme that it usually will happen, eventually.

Fingers crossed. Emotions embraced and self-control of my own self acceptance of personal responsibility for what I do & do not do - has always kept me on that thin line of being in society versus being behind those plate glass windows or bars. 

I am stubborn, motivated, and compassionately hearted in the right direction - even when I screw up - that I want to be that one example of how to help your self & not hurt your self worse & perhaps help others in the process of my own bizarre progressions. 

I focus on how to achieve happy even in the saddest, hardest, or most complicated of my realities. Even if happy isn't here today - I never lose sight of trying again for happy tomorrow.

I don't want to be any one's else inspiration, motivation or envy or jealously by my over zealous tendencies of mistakes & perfections. I just want to keep trying to make many wrongs I have experienced & witnessed & keeping moving forward - to make it right for someone else. 

I do all this for me 'cause I am worth it emotionally, logically, scientifically, medically and as a human being. I deserve to treated with respect, unconditional love, and as a good person that I am. If I do not do this and learn skills how to treat me how I deserve - then I can not expect anyone else to love me as I love myself nor for me to trust and allow others to get to know me as well. I wouldn't be able to relate to others and help their pains or help assist them in their struggles if I could not keep picking up my own self. I do this for me for so many reasons.

I want to be that mother to myself I never knew or had - even in my own mother. I want to be that father to myself that I never knew or had - even with my own father. I want to be that sister to myself that I never knew or had - with my own sister.   I want to be that brother to myself that I never had & never knew - with my own brother. I want to be my own best friend. Giving, receiving, sharing, being patience, being kind, being fun, being happy & being in joy because I never gave up on me to find and accomplish these things from within - so I could give, share, receive, trust, and help others too.

Words of conversation and emotional exterior all begin from within. DBT gives you a source of tapping into the core of your words, conversations, and how to embrace your emotions and yourself without hurting more than you already are - without being angry with things that you can not change anyways & how to cope safely and heal with patience from the wrongs done to you. It's not easy. We all have been wronged & hurt in the name & actions of love.

Human beings are not a perfect species. There is no perfect species. Our instincts to defend and offend to protect our self is a safety mechanism in each of us. Some use it more fluently than others but for most - they do have to learn new skills to help them gain a safety mechanism that someone else either stole from them or medical conditions thieved from them or simply because a person doesn't know how to love and appreciate their self and accept all the beautiful glory of who they are.

If your day hasn't arrived yet of: "A Person You Use to Know," then be patient with time because your time will come too. You'll be looking back and wondering where the 16 year-old in you went or the 25 year-old in you went. Before you know it, half a decade will be gone by and you'll have 50 years of emotions behind you and in your memory bank.

I don't know about you or most - but I do want to challenge myself just to see how much of a decade I can conquer. I want that trail behind to say, "Dang, that girl is crazy, tough, brave, strong, and not afraid to try anything to the end of my life." I want people to celebrate my final day as a testament of how the unexplainable and the not easily understood aspects of a person life can still make a difference to others. I want others to smile for me and smile with me. That a long journey has ended and the new will begin by the life of an emotional girl who was not afraid to keep moving forward even when science, medicine and logic said she couldn't!  

I wish this for each of you as well. That you will not be afraid in life to leap when others safely stay on the mountain or not be afraid to feel life. There is truly no greater peace to be obtained when you accept your tears, soothe your anger, smile with your happiness, and appreciate who you are. 

 We also have a hidden security of strength too! That nothing or no one is: "Normal." But until we each believe this individually - we'll always let others tell us what to do - how we should feel - what our goals are - what our daily focus & function should be & most of all - we lose our self to be someone else's "Normal." Do not do this to yourself nor let anyone do that to you.

Create who you want to be. Learn. Research. Educate. Do not be afraid. Become who you want too so when the day comes when you do view back on your life of: "A Person I Use to Know" - will the proudest and most loved person you know - YOURSELF!