Have you ever considered the relations of emotions produced in matters of legal or lawful issues? Many times when dealing with lawful consequences of actions or circumstances that arise; emotions will increase with legality issues.
A Person I Used to Know has felt and experienced the emotional roller coaster ride of the Legal system in America. For the legal system is an unfair and unequal Law & Order that only effectively works in the fantasy of a television show.
The greatest emotions this person came to know with the Legal system was grief and loss. This person was me and still is.
I experienced the grief and loss when a parent criminal abuser was taken out of the home under investigation for the sexual abuse crimes he committed against my sister and I. Then his presence was restored in the home. As the investigation deemed him rehabilitated and safe to be around. So the reintroduction began.
Then the revictimization process began when being legally bound to this biological father who was a criminal that started abusing me again. His legal rehabilitation failed his recovery and failed to protect me from his repeated abuse.
The intensity of being a silent hostage to his supporters and a legal system that failed to protect me - when they had the chance - really left me as a 10 year old child trusting no justice. Trusting no legal matters. Trusting no adult. Trusting no one.
Learning how to use my own intuition of what to do to stop the abuse and escape the abuse. The chaos of this situation continued until I was almost 12 years old when I told my mother what he had abused me again for almost 2 years of my childhood again. The abuse stopped.
But it took me until I was almost 14 years old, before I gained enough strength to tell on him to a guidance counselor at school. For I figured I had nothing to lose and everything of safety, protection, and legal justice to gain; so no other child would ever be hurt by this repeat sexual child abuser again and to let him know that his behavior, actions, and crimes committed against me were legally wrong.
He may have been granted the privilege to create me with my mother to produce me. But he would never dominate my life nor keep me as his submissive silent hostage to conceal his crimes. His tactics of fear with his supporters may have kept others silent but I would not be one of them. He had abused a dozen children sexually before he abused my sister and I and my second attack from him.
So when he was sentenced by pleading guilty to serve a 5-10 year sentence for the crimes he committed against me; the grief and sorrow continued.
The grief and loss within me would never have been so deep if it had not been for the other abusers in the family who supported my criminal father more than they supported me.
The grief and loss would not have been so bad of this new justice ruling if proper treatment, recovery, and effective healing efforts were more effective by our system in the 90s for victims and survivors of family crimes of Incest and Religious Ritual Abuse.
Had I not witnessed the grief and loss of my mother, sister, and brother crying annually and losing our father by my actions of how I felt to seek legal justice and do what I felt was morally right by turning him in - I would have learned how to celebrate the law, justice and be proud of what I had done that so many rejected and refused to do before me.
For standing up in any court of law to announce the criminal who hurt you with crimes they chose to do to you; is and will be the hardest acts of motivation and personal courage and strength that anyone can do to help them self. It is worrying about the input of others and their well-being before your own; that the grief and loss of lawfulness hurts so bad. But when you choose to get the justice that you need - be empowered by it. Not grief filled and like you are losing. Focus on the big picture of what you will gain.
I spent many years in personal harmful thoughts and emotions of: guilt, shame, hurt, pain, and silent internal damaging dialogues to myself. I felt like I had done the wrong because I turned him in to the law for the criminal he was.
It took many years for me to learn how not to do this to myself. What should have been a day of celebration that put a criminal away was the hardest years of my life with his incarceration and the grieving loss of blame that was misplaced upon me by adult abusers of my life. No one should ever feel bad for doing the morally right thing or obeying laws by turning the criminals in.
As time has continued long past the abuse, divorcing the abusive supporters of this family, and living my life to undo this old to build back happier and healthier new in myself - I am still finding legal law to be a grieving and loss process.
For having certain medical conditions it does come with a legal driving responsibility and insurance repercussions that you will only experience; if you personally these types of medical conditions that limit or restrict your ability to safely drive.
Many people take their choices in lives for granted. They take their good or stable health for granted every day. They take lawful and legal and moral choices for granted.
Many intentionally and selfishly make choices that do not only compromise their own health, safety, and protection for granted, but their decisions end up jeopardizing and hurting others by what they do.
They hurt them self in their choices and hurt those closest to them. These types of individual choices that leads to legal or criminal prosecution produce loss and grief to the criminal, as well as those closest to them. For what one chooses to take for granted and gets legally caught up in does and will hurt others too.
But for those with medical conditions, there is no choice nor control to say - I will not have Cancer today. I will not have a seizure today nor will I be blind today.
Individuals who have uncontrollable medical conditions can not stop the legal grief and loss they feel because of the limitations that have to live within.
There is a medical justice of lawfulness that is not fair to them. But to keep them safe and others; they have no choice. They can break the laws of this medical lawful justice but legally, criminally, financially, or civilly they will be held accountable when they fail to adhere to the law should they ever break that law and produce harm upon others because they failed to uphold the law with the medical restrictions they have in their life.
The hardest grief and loss that I have ever experienced with the law was not of the crimes done to me as a young child and the loss of my criminal dad going to jail - but it has been an adult.
Lying to a lawful system about my medical condition. Trying to be safe to drive without following lawful protocol. I am becoming wiser and mature enough now to understand the errors of my ways to do it right.
But it is hard when having medical conditions and admitting to your self that these conditions exist in you. It's even harder to face the world that is structured to keep healthy people safe as well as legally safe for those who do have in stable or uncontrollable medical conditions.
Life is about taking steps. Children must take baby steps and fall a million times before they perfect the motion of walking on both of their legs.
Adults are no different. For the experiences of our lives and choices we make will produce consequences that makes us stumble, wobble, and fall down repeatedly. But what we do with each experience and choice we make and the consequences that come from this - admitting, accepting, and facing reality is still easier to do; even with loss and grief; than it is to take a bad situation and make it worse. Denying a problem or medical condition does not make it go away. But it will only make consequences worse by doing nothing at all.
Medical conditions that produce uncontrollable or instability in a patients life and those closest to them do endure a daily struggle that most will not know - unless they personally experience this.
But to deny that you are not accountable to the actions you do, with or without medical conditions, will detail the character and personality of who you really are and to pardon your consequences - because you have a medical condition is to only coward from the problem and be fearful of the outcome to do the right, legal and lawful thing when you do know better.
If you are healthy, do not take it for granted. If you are able to commute and drive yourself where you want to go, do not take it for granted. If you curse the laws, do not take them for granted.
For even in the imperfections and out dating of the old laws - it is still the law not to be taken lightly nor for granted. Society does evolve quicker than the law can keep up with our changes. But that does not allow us to be freely pardoned from the consequences of the choices we make. Medical conditions have their own individual and personality accountability to be upheld to stay safe and to be a moral and lawful person; is never easy but for those who have medical conditions - it can seem like a grey line of life that is not fair.
But to do the right thing in the hardest of realities we face. It is still worth a greater price of reward to pay for doing the right and lawful thing than it is paying for the crimes you committed because you fail to adhere to law.
Be grateful for all the experiences of life you have been given and the learning lessons of consequences gained of what they have taught you to do and what not to do.
Every one struggles with many different things every day. Some of us just have a medical label upon us that we didn't choose. It takes a greater personal accountability and responsibility than most know as stress in their lives. But do not take your condition for granted. You deserve to live as long as you can making the most of each day regardless of the condition you have. Being a good moral and lawful person speaks higher of your character than any thing you get labeled as anyways. Accept, admit and move forward to work with your medical conditions and not against them. Life could always be better but it can always be worse too so do not take the law, morals, and daily living for granted.
Facts of Legal, lawful, grief and loss courtesy of: www.thefreedictionary.com
Legal:
- Of, relating to, or concerned with law
- Authorized by or based on law
- Permitted by law; lawful
Lawful:
- Being within the law; allowed by law
- Established, sanctioned, or recognized by the law
- Obeying the law; law-abiding
Grief:
- Deep mental anguish, as that arising from bereavement
- A source of deep mental anguish
- Trouble or difficulty
- Annoyance or frustration
- Deep or intense sorrow or distress
- Keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow
Loss:
- The condition of being deprived or bereaved of something or someone
- The amount of something lost
- The harm or suffering caused by losing or being lost
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