How to Become a Core Character

A Person I Used to Know learned early on in life as a child that you had to become a character to please those in reality just so you could be accepted by anyone. The circumstances of her life would only give her acceptance and love from others  if she played their character role of game playing. She could only be as they wanted or needed to be accepted. She could only be accepted by them if she was what they believed her to be.

So she became the t submissive person of silence. She became only as a bold person to accomplish her goals that she wanted for herself to escape this vicious character role playing games they did. She became a verbal whisperer to not disturb the thoughts of those who witnessed her actions or cause them discourse as they produced in her. She would be exactly as they thought and verbally stated her to be. She would be their character shaped as they designed and taught her to be of how a a daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, and friend should be to keep their schemes and lifestyles alive.

But at the core of her self, with all these characters she was forced to play as a child – it demented her own identity for a very long time. For as she grew and matured into a woman fueled by her own estrogen she wanted to find her own individual voice, her own fashion style, her own presence in the world that she deserved to live too. She found herself more and more alone from others. For her character roles as a child to be as they wanted deprived her to find herself. To fail in trusting others. To fail in opening up her core character of who she felt like she should and could be. As time went on this game court of character role playing; she found her self confused.

One day, she would be on the opposing team. The next day, she would be on the defense to back up those who hurt her the most. This internal character assignation of hell that she was doing to her self was not benefiting her nor anyone else in her life that knew her personally. A Miss Jekyll and Miss Hyde she was becoming.

This person used to me. It took me a very long time to stand upon who I wanted to be as the core character I wanted to be in life. To define the cast offs I had to do from my life that was poisoning by others correction of my character flaws that traveled off their paths for me. To stand up and find my own two feet moving forward in the direction of the core of my character of who I wanted and needed to be for myself.

The core of character is something that is within each of us. This core is who we feel and cling the closest to in our self. The smiles that make life joyful to us. The laughter that gives our lungs new air to breath on stale air that every day routines can produce. The enlightenment we feel in common company of those who share our same core character traits. This is the real person we should be and need to pursue to be.

It takes one almost half their life; if they are lucky to find this awakening. For many others, they do not find their core character until they have advanced in age and feel no hope to gain what they let their self down. There is no room for regrets in the time we have to spend to live our lives. For each second that ticks, that is one moment closer to death. We should never take time for granted nor how we choose to spend it.

Especially when it comes to our core character of who we are when no one is around except the silence of our thoughts to entertain our self.

I have spent a lot of my life in catering to be the character that another needed, wanted and to be accepted to belong in this world. Just to have people in my life who I knew that I could ask help from without any hidden motives or painful repercussions because of their place in my life.

For me to choose to live, I had to leave behind a family that left me feeling as an orphan to find and grow my core character of self. Because I could never be their character and mine own too.

Life is not like a fairy tale that leaves many with happy endings. For most, it is the exact opposite. Realities spent in time obligations, people obligations, responsibilities, and maturity spent on the daily that there is hardly any fun, entertainment or character youthfulness to be enjoyed in self. It’s sad.

For we become the fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and friends we need to be to all of these people but at the end of those seconds on the time lines of our lives; we realize that the only character we never sacrificed enough for was our self. Only real maturity can give balance to sacrifices to others and creating or making that time for one’s own self joys too. If we spend our seconds doing and pleasing for others constantly, our minds suffer. Our bodies suffer. Our health deteriorates. Our sex dries up too. Our dreams never materialize because they were replaced with reality for others.

The core character of who we are is what makes our thoughts dance and become entertained in a song or a movie or a book that we can not put down. The good stuff that we feel when we are totally alone that forces us to smile, laugh, cry happy tears and to feel and appreciate the respect we have for our individual to want to live and make it freaking happen! That core character is in each of us. We can not find it nor ever really mature to grow it if we spend too much time on the catering of others and forcing ourselves to belong to them.

We can not belong or be accepted by anyone when we deprive the oxygen from our souls that help stabilize, mentor and grow our own core character. It is so much easier to read, watch, or listen to the fantasies of another or become envy filled at the life of greener grass on the other side of the fence than it is to hold focus on to our self to become that character we need to be for our self.

Yes, life is wonderful when finding the company of others that make a house feel like a home or a family feel like friends or people are a pleasure more than a problem. But at the same time, if you erased the world you know away from you – Would you still be happy? Could you produce your own contentment? Would you be familiar and comfortable with the only reflection you see in your self?

I know this is very deep. But with out having depth perception in one’s self as much as you extend to others emotional, medical, financial or life needs; you are as hypocritical as the rest of them. 

For without touching your own heart beat and knowing what makes it pumps blood every day; then you will never be able to increase or decrease the blood flow of life to give to the heart of another. 

So think about core character of self. Ponder all I have written and shared. For to know your heart to know is your beginning story of the core character of who you are. 

Touch it. Embrace it. Love it. Feel it. Produce its desires. Give it the needs it wants. Then go out and proclaim the character core you found yourself to be. 

If you do not, you will only become the role or character that someone else wants you to be. Why settle for being their character or role playing for others when you can stand up and show them how to be real in life and a person of truth that is always stranger than fiction. 

A legacy does not get produced by the actions given in life but it is created and lives on when individuals find their own personal character and become who they feel they should be; not how any one else ever tells them.